#i fucking love sochie okay

[niicoli]

Into the abyss

Part two of I loved you at on point

Love,love is beautiful thing and the source of many people’s happiness until it turns it’s back on you and abandons you in the dark. Leaving you bleeding and crying for a helping soul, and just as you finally start to go numb the silence washes over you like a blanket but not one of comfort.

To the point where the gods themselves try and lend their wisdom and strength to try and bring you up from drowning in the silence of your own.

And if that is to be true then why have the gods forsaken you, as you find yourself in the same hell where it all began and with the same people who made you feel worthless and numb.

You don’t know how they got you here or how they convinced you to allow them to bring your son with you, but you’ve always been weak to their sweet words.

No their demands of you and how they could always seem to find a way to bend you and pull you In every direction they wanted you to go in but you were still stuck in the silence.

So as you look around the hell you once knew you see that it’s void of your touch and existence like you were never there in the first place, but hasn’t it always been that way?

Even when you were in their grasp, The home was void of your memories or pictures you honestly don’t know how you couldn’t see it from the start, maybe because you were so stuck in a delusion of sweet nothings and passion you didn’t have your head screwed on tight.

But this time was different from then as when you arrived they had their other victim at the door waiting to greet them.

When the poor soul saw them they smiled at them like you use to when you were of delusion what was the saying again “ love is blind “ yeah that was it but not for you , not anymore well at least you hoped.

No matter how many times you have to tell yourself and try and convince yourself that you mean it you snap back to the reality of they still got you in this hellhole anyway.

As the silence walked with us and we finally sat down they told their victim to leave so they can talk to me, she silently looked at me curiously before excusing herself. So I guess this is when the integration begins…

“ so y/n how have you been ,fine I presume “ gojo says as he looks me up and down I always hated when he looked at me that way, like he he could see all my sins and wrong doings.

“ cut the crap what do you want from me this time” I bite back with as much venom in my words as possible but then again I hear that god awful chuckle and bile starts to rise in my throat. “Now , now y/n sato was just asking a question is that any way to talk to lovers .. or in the presence of our child”.

“Lovers, we were never lovers I was simply a puppet to you. Lovers wouldn’t do what you did and act like everything is okay and leave Sochi out of this you weren’t there “ I was able to get out before being cut off again,” ha not there, you didn’t tells us and don’t act like we didn’t have so much fun together mochi” gojo said with as much venom and bite in his words as mine from earlier.

Then the silence set back in place almost like it was the mediator of the situation “so did you fuck him” gojo sneered at you as if he had any right to accuse you with how fast they moved on,” and what if I did “ I said with no emotions I could see the glare in their eyes as all they tried do was look at my face for answers.

“ Then you’re more of a slut than I imagined “ gojo let out a chuckle with a smirk “ did you let him fuck you like we use to, oh and let’s not forget that dirty little trick with your tongue we taught you tch y/n your breaking our hearts “ geto continued to degenerate you and it was starting to get to you.

All the flashbacks of when you were here were starting to come back even the ones you tried to bury , all the accusations of when you would just talk to someone and they would tell you , you were flirting with them being a teasing little whore and bitch at you only for them to turn around and do the same.

But most of all the anxiety that was getting worse and worse as you sat here, the panic was starting to take over and soon the ringing was going to appear, but then you felt movement in your lap and glanced down noticing Sochi asleep in your arms and as to not disturb him you tried to stop shaking.

Shaking when did I start to shake?, but who cares I can calm down in the car but we’re did I put the key’s again oh god please not again not now, not in-front of them.

“ I think it’s time for me to go “ I say as I go to stand but I don’t know why my brain can’t comprehend my brain signals almost like my body is locked up almost as if I��m paralyzed.

But why, I didn’t have anything to drink or eat I was careful when touching anything so why can’t I move, god please I just want to leave “ now mochi what’s the rush besides we’re just spending time together since it’s been so long “ gojo says as he bounces Sochi up and down in his arms, but wait when did he grab him, when did he touch my baby I think as full on dread washes over me.

“ Now then love even though we are angry that you hid our beautiful son from us we can give you the benefit of the doubt, you we’re just confused and upset isn’t that right sato?” Geto says and gojo nods with him

But why couldn’t I say anything and when did suguru get so close, was I really just upset no I had a good reason right?

“ Now then let’s be a family again and everything will be just fine besides every family needs a mother and father “ geto grins as he picks you up in his arms “ and don’t worry about Nanami or your things we already informed Nanami that your not coming back” gojo says as he walks behind you and geto.

But the whole time you can’t seem to process their words as they carry you off deeper into the abyss and you can’t seem to process the blood on the floor of their victim as you finally drift off in the silence.

“Welcome home y/n we’ve truly missed you “.

End

[kunosoura]

I love what a poisoned happyish ending it is... corin sacrifices himself after being a misogynist towards sochie and miashei out of nowhere so we remember that corin at his peak is an insane person and we don't need to feel too bad when he dies, gym gets fucking pwned by an untrained teenager in a duel after 15 episodes of meaningfully fondling his katana, sochie admittedly gets a raw fucking deal, but overall characters are in places where they can be happy.

in the back of your mind though it's like... okay but also the turn A and turn X got turned into that egg/cocoon thing (objects which famously do not remain in that state forever), our assurances for peace are Queen "I was Dianna for like a week and my actions got the real deal coup'd" Kihel with the people who committed said coup getting off easy and Lily "Ambitious girlboss whose whole deal is that she's a less cringe Guin" Borjano who just united the leaders of the notoriously battlehungry militia. The Dark History data is public, Guin and Merrybell are still at large. The entire conflict was an allegorical World War One which famously got a sequel no one wanted.. Like it isn't a situation Guaranteed to slide back towards the worst it's just like, a kitchen full of fire hazards in a wooden house!

I dunno maybe it's one of those endings where the challenge is seeing the happy ending, like mother 3. The only way this ends without catastrophe is if people take the lessons of the Dark History to heart and at least keep tryingly as fervently as they did this time to maintain peace. Given all that, can you make yourself buy it?

[three--rings]

Book #11 of Binderary:

(Did the number jump? IDK maybe there's two books tumblr doesn't get to see yet.)

Okay another Book Saga on this one.

This is a collection of my Strangers to Love series of YOI fics. I originally intended this to be a standard half-letter sized book, but decided it'd be a nicer thickness at smaller size and wanted to do something different so I tweaked the fonts a little to be better and made it quarto sized.

Which meant I had to cut my bookboard to size myself, which I gave up as soon as I realized I could order bookboard pre-cut cause that shit sucks. And I did the first version of the case and it was too small. Okay okay, fine. Did it again, and it was great, but I CASED IT IN BACKWARDS AGAIN. I hate myself.

This time I had used wheat paste rather than methyl cellulose so I wasn't able to cleanly separate the endpages and had to cut them. Using a VERY sharp knife and I slice through the cover. FUCK.

Third case and I tried to reuse the board from the previous one but they didn't take my methyl cellulose and PVA mix very well and ended up not sticking and looking bad. But at this point it was almost the end of the month and I wasn't making it a 4th time.

So here.

The series is set in three cities (Sochi, Detroit, and Sapporo) and so I used the skylines of those cities as decoration in the typeset. For the cover I wanted to do something different so I smushed the three skylines together and printed that on the bookcloth along with the title. Which was a pain because trying to get it to all line up across the entire bottom wasn't easy...

The textblock had to be cut to size by hand with a utility knife which was such a pain that I didn't want to give up on it after I'd done it. I smoothed out the edges with a sander. (I need a guillotine before I do more little books really.) The font ended up a little too small for my aging eyes, though it's readable, just not very comfortable.

I may one day redo this as I love the design idea and not the execution but ugh, not anytime soon.

While I'm introspecting, it's interesting to think it's been six entire years since I wrote this. I considered it some of the best fic I've written, but reading bits of it now, I can see so much that I would have written differently now. So I guess I have actually grown as a writer, which is NOT what it feels like.

[thoughtdump]

Frustrating as fuck to see Evgenia’s statement on the ban of Russian athletes because I saw her as one of the more sensible/progressive Russian athletes….

They either really do not understand why their athletes are being banned or they do & they don’t give a shit/are being made to say pro-Russian statements. Either way, this whole victim persona they all put on is so fucking ridiculous. The only victims these athletes are are to their own countries abusive regime. Not any other country, not the IOC or ISU, nobody else but Russia. Don’t want to be banned? Have your government not start a genocide on Ukrainian people. Don’t want to have your team medal taken away? Don’t drug 15 year olds. Want your country to be represented? Don’t have a state run doping system where you cheat & lie & steal & expect everyone to just be okay with it because you’re you & we should all bow down to the “motherland”. Do you see any other country doing this shit? You know damn well if it were ANY other country who has the doping abuse Russia does that Russians would be beyond pissed off, throwing their tantrums & everything else because “it’s unfair”. Because guess what …!!! It IS unfair!!!!

And as for the reason they’re banned, the war, you are NOT the victims here. Ukrainian people & children are dying, they’re being raped & slaughtered & dumped around like garbage & their homes, lives, everything they’ve known & loved are being destroyed by YOUR government so shut the fuck up about being “migrants.” Especially when Ukrainian’s are forced to be literal Migrants because of Putin! Wtf! To even compare yourself to such a serious, very real humanitarian crisis is so beyond comprehension. How dare you. You’re so out of touch with reality it’s actually mind blowing. & I feel sorry for Russians who get this fucking brainwashed because it’s not fair to them & it’s not right. Even I gave them more credit but the distortion & overall Stockholm Syndrome of some Russians is so fucking sickening.

So many of us, myself included, tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, tried to cover all the bases as to why they say & think what they do. Is it all the propaganda & brainwashing? Or do they know better? Is it a statement they’re being told to make against their will? Or is it how they truly feel. Was she the vessel they used to spread this message because she did make seemingly anti-war posts so this is her “punishment”? Or do they just need their money now so they don’t care about the war anymore. Do they even know the truth at all? Can you blame them if they don’t know the truth? Is the silence because they can’t say anything? Or is it because they simply don’t want to. No matter the reason, at this point it’s too exhausting to try & hear them out when this type of shit keeps happening. It goes without saying that it’s not every Russian, I know that. The same way it isn’t every citizen of every country that has issues but my god. Two things can be true at once, we can know that they’ve been brainwashed & also not put up with their shit. I have no more patience for them anymore.

Russian athletes should not be allowed to compete & you fucking know it. IMAGINE, if the tables were turned. Hypocrites. No one wants you there because people don’t like cheaters & they want a fair chance at medals. Some of us don’t have to abuse, drug & treat our athletes like machines rather than humans to win medals. Take away all your cheating/abuse & you’re nothing. (& no, I’m not saying abuse doesn’t exist in other places because I know it does & I’m not saying none of the Russian skaters are naturally very talented because of course they are but come on) The ISU/IOC/whoever shouldn’t have even given you the right to be called ROC or OAR or any other bullshit “non representative” label they give you after Sochi just to appease you. There are real fucking issues in the world, people dying & Evgenia’s entitled statement, along with all the other Russian athletes who have done similar shit is so disappointing. Especially from Evgenia for me.

Nobody cares about Russian athlete’s feelings while their Ukrainian neighbors have to wonder if they or their loved ones will be alive for tomorrow. Get over yourselves, take it up with your own federation/country since they’re the problem here, not the rest of the functioning world. This is real life. (I understand that they’re put in such horrendous situations because of their government. I know that speaking out against Russia is serious & they’re in very tricky spots in regards to that but still, others have & regardless, that’s my whole point. It’s sad.)

💙💛

[danielxricciardo]

Hello! This is bit complicated prompt😅 though I read all your shots and I cannot imagine any write who can do this 🤩

Can you do one where Daniel is in middle of race and his wife is pregnant but have very delicate one though she insist on watching the race even though Daniel was very worried about her. Middle of race, her wife had a scare and brought at clinic, i just want to imagine Daniel in the radio when he heard the news. Also if you could include other drivers that got concerned for Daniel🏎🏎🏎

Summary: You have a high-risk pregnancy and during a race, you faint

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 1.2k

You don’t think anything prepares you for a high-risk pregnancy. Morning sickness started within days of conception, you were vomiting pretty much every day. You felt no movements until your 20-week ultrasound - turned out you had an anterior placenta, meaning that the placenta was at the front, masking your baby girl's kicks and rolls. You were on aspirin to help keep your blood pressure down, due to your previous hypertension and pre-eclampsia fears.

Daniel was a saint. He helped you in any way he could. But it still was rough. The constant traveling and the stress from his racing were all too much for you, but you wanted to be strong for your little family. You two wanted this child with your whole heart. Especially considering the fact this was your second pregnancy. Your second pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Utterly devastating; sent you into the worst depression you've ever experienced.

Your family and friends were always checking on you. They were worried for your health and the little girl's health too. When you were at a race, everyone would ask you if you need anything and you were not allowed to stay up on your feet for a long time.

"I need to go in a few, baby," Daniel tells you, kneeling in front of you. "Need anything?"

You smile and caress his cheek.

"I'm ok."

"Michael is here and he'll keep an eye on you, ok? Tell him if you need anything."

"I know. It's the same as the last race. And the race before," you tell him laughing and then you kiss him.

You loved the way he wanted to make sure you are fine. You were now entering your 30-week of pregnancy and he was extra careful now. Sometimes you were begging him to go to practice. You hated the fact he was under so much stress because of you, but it was not your fault you were having a high-risk pregnancy.

"Be careful, baby, ok?" he asked and you could see in his eyes the desperation.

"I'm supposed to say that..."

It was the Russian Grand Prix. Daniel qualified P5 and it was set to be a pretty chill race. Everybody in the Renault garage was sure your boyfriend can defend his position with ease.

Michael came near you, handing you a bottle of water. You accept the water bottle and take a sip.

It was already halfway through the race and Daniel had kept his position. You were happy to see that he manages and he feels good behind the wheel. But you were 7 months pregnant and you needed to go to the bathroom. You heard Daniel needs to come in the pits to switch to hards so you figured it was now a good time to go to the bathroom.

"Hey," you get Michael's attention. "I'm going to the bathroom real quick, ok?"

"Want me to go with you?" you shoot him a stare. "You know what I meant, Y/N."

"I'm fine, really, I just need to pee."

Maybe it was the rapid way you got up from the chair, but you got dizzy and fainted. The feeling you get when you pass out is a weird one. It's like you know you’re about to lose consciousness, but you’re powerless to stop it. You start hearing like a whirring sound, then your vision gets blurry, your heart feels heavy, breathing becomes increasingly more difficult, then finally you lose control of your body. Everything just went kinda black after that, the only thing you remember is the sound your head made when you fell on the ground. You tried your best to fight it, but you only got more exhausted the harder you tried to remain conscious.

Without you being able to know, everyone around you became frantic. It was almost like they forgot about Daniel coming into the pits, but his race engineer told him something unexpected happened and to come to pits later.

"Ok, copy that," he tells via radio. "What happened anyway?"

"Don't worry about it, Daniel, pit in next lap."

Silence fell over the radio.

"It's Y/N?"

Again, the driver was met with silence and he became anxious with every second. He made up his mind. He will go to the pits the next lap and will retire the car. He can't race knowing his girlfriend, that has a high-risk pregnancy, isn't feeling well.

So that's what he did. His race engineer kept telling him to just do another lap, but he stopped his car into the pits and the race was over for him.

After a while, the drivers started to ask their race engineers what happened with Daniel because he was still out of the race. They got the same answer 'he retired the car'. And everybody knows that Daniel will retire the car only if you are not feeling well. So, the next logical question the drivers asked was 'is Y/N ok?' but there was no answer to that.

You were in the medical center. You were awake now. The doctor was doing a lot of tests on you to determine what caused the sudden blood pressure drop from your usual 120/70 to 90/55. You just wanted to know if the baby is fine, and you were assured that there was nothing life-threatening for the little girl. Michael was staying with you and you were relieved to go through such a fright with someone you loved with you.

You were free to go when Daniel came into the room. At first, you didn't understand what was happening. Daniel was in the same room with you, but you could still hear the car engines, so the race wasn't over.

"What are you doing here?" you ask Daniel when he comes to hug you.

"I needed to see if you're okay, love."

"But the race-"

"I don't give a fuck about the race. Are you ok?"

So the doctor started to tell Daniel everything that has happened with you, and he was pleased to hear that you two were fine.

"You shouldn't have given up the race, I would have been here when you finished," you tell Daniel when you were left alone. "What will the team say about you retiring the car? You could score good points."

"I only care about you and our daughter, ok? When my race engineer told me not to pit that lap I knew something was wrong so I asked if you were ok, and I got no answer. For me, that was the only logical step I could have made at that moment," says your boyfriend and you smiled.

The race ended, with Max winning at Sochi. You and Daniel were watching the post-race interview with the three winners, and you saw Max asking about you.

"Sorry to interrupt, but do you know anything about Y/N? Is she ok?"

"We heard she is fine, just something minor, both her and the baby are fine."

"Oh, ok, thanks!"

Lewis and Valtteri were near Max and heard that you were fine and they breathed a sigh of relief.

[smoooothoperator]

Stronger(Lando Norris)

a/n: a little Sochi GP imagine... just to get it put of the heart. If you want more imagine like this let me know

The week started nice, a little bit rainy, but nice. We arrived at the airport early, so he bought us two coffees while we waited for the plane and the rest of the crew.

"Are you nervous?" Inasked him looking how his leg started to bounce while we were sitting. "Why do you think so?". "Lando, please. I know you". He sighed and looked at the floor, bitting his lip and then looking at me. "There's a lot of rain in Sochi. I used to be exited with rainy races, even the fans loved them. But... since Spa...". "You are afraid after the crash". He nodded with his head and looked again at the floor. "Hey, it's alright. Now the FIA knows what to do, I hope so. But don't be worried"

That was the start of the race week. He was worried. I was worried. Everybody were worried. When we arrived at the hotel the first thing I did was stare out of the window, looking the rain drops making their own race to see which one arrive at the bottom of the glass first. Lando lid on out bed, looking at the ceiling and sighing nervous.

"It's going to be the best race week. I swear it" I whispered, looking at him and walking near the bed and sitting on it, putting my hand on Lando's chest. He took my hand and squeezed it, sighing and then looking at me. "Come on, love. You have to go to the track"

He stood up and packed his backpack with his and mine things and grabbed my hand walking out of the room. We greeted everyone who wavef to us and stepped into the rented car, driving to the Sochi Autodrom. Kym saw us and took some photos of us arriving to the paddock, with our hands intertwined and smiling to each other. Charlotte and Jon saw us walking into the McLaren motorhome and they hugged me.

"He is a little nervous, I'll try my best to keep him calm, but I don't promise if it will work" I whispered into their ears.

Lando attended to the meeting with his engineers and mechanics and he did some interviews with Daniel. The first day was relaxed, nothing to worried about.

But the next days were a rollercoaster. The morning started with Lando looking at the street through the window, biting his lips at the sight of the rain. The practices were nice, he didn't complained about the rain or the wet track.

He was doing fine.

And then on Saturday, when they announced that the practice of the morning was cancelled he lost his mind. He closed himself of his driver room, meditating and calming himself by his own.

"Don't worry, Y/N. I think he will have a nice qualifying" Jon said when he saw that I was looking at the door of Lando's room.

Then he opened the door and walked to me, hugging me and kissing my lips with a smile.

"Thank you for being here" he whispered and then ran to the garage.

I watched the quali on the motorhome. I watched Lando getting the pole position. I watched how he opened the door and ran to me, wrapping his arms on my waist and pulling me into him. I laughed with him, celebrated his first pole and enjoyed watching his smile the whole day.

Then the race day came.

It started as well as expected. He woke me up hugging me and kissing my naked shoulder m, cuddled my a little while and woke up exited. The nerves of the previous days disappeared and were replaced by a permanent smile.

"You were right, darling. This is going to be the race of the season" he kissed my cheek before putting his helmet on and walked out of the garage.

I watched the race on his box, with Jon and Charlotte by my side. We exclaimed happy when he started to lead the race and fought to keep his position, when he got the fastest lap, when he leaded the race again.

But then the rain came back. At the start it was light, barely detectable. But then it was getting worse.

"Fuck" Jon groaned.

We saw the screen and they announced that all the drivers were changing their tyres. But when they said to Lando that he should change them...

"NO! SHUT UP!"

I jumped surprised by his scream. The garage was quiet, looking at the screens desperately. Charlotte and I grabbed our hands nervous, looking slowly how the mood on the box was getting worse.

And then he lost the control. He lost tho control of his car and slipped out of the track. I gasped, seeing how Hamilton took his position, watching how Lando tried to came to the pit lane, how his mechanics changed the tyres. Watching in complete silence how he crossed the finish line.

The garage at this moment was a scary place. No one was moving, talking or blinking. All of us were watching how he crossed the line the eighth.

"Oh my god, Lando"

He stayed some minutes on the car, we saw it. He didn't want to get out of.it, even this engineer reminded him of turning it off. George came to check on him, and I thanked him mentally. He got put of his car and ran with his helmet still on his head to congratulate Hamilton, hugging him without saying anything.

"I'll go see how he is" I whispered.

Charlotte nodded speechless

I waled through the paddock trying to contain my tears, feeling my breath getting heavier, and walked into the building. Everyone there were quiet, and when I saw Steve looking at the screen of his camera I walked near him.

"Where is Lando?". "He... he closed himself on his room. I tried to speak with him but he was quiet all the way here. Go talk to him, Y/N, you are the oy one that can do something".

I nodded and walked uo the stairs, standing in front of his door and knocking at it with hesitation. I didn't hear nothing from inside, so I opened the door slowly and look for him. He was standing there, in the middle of the room with his helmet on his head.

"Oh, my love" I sighed walking to him, but he took a step back. "I don't want you to see me like this" he whispered with shaky voice.

I bite my lip and placed my hands on his helmet, searching for his eyes. I know he cried. And he had the rights to do it. I kissed his helmet and pulled it off of his head slowly. His hair was a mess and his eyes were red.

"Baby" I sighed and put my hand on his cheek, tracing the line the helped left there. His closed his eyes hard, trying to erase the tears that are trying to escape. "You can do it, baby. I am here"

That was what he needed. He wrapped his arms around me and hide his face on my neck, and immediately his body started to shake with sobs. I walked slowly back and he followed me without letting me go, and lied on his bed.

"It's ok, it's ok. I got you"

He continued crying on my neck and I had to bit hard my lips to not cry. The door opened slowly and Charlotte's head appeared, but when she saw Lando curled against me and his body shaking with silent sobs, she smiled and closed it again.

"It hurts so much". "I know, honey. But your time will come. And soon. You were made to be a champion. What happened today was a demonstration that you can keep Hamilton looking at your ass for a long time"

I tried my best to make him smile. And he did it. I felt his lips smiling on my skin.

"Just be patient. Keep training. Keep fighting. What you did today was a mistake. But everyone does mistakes. Schumacher, Senna, Hamilton... but they learned from them. What you learned from today is that you have to trust your engineers, listen to your team. They do the best for you, they want you to win. And I hope you apologized to then because you screamed to them". "I did before coming here". "Good. Now, change your clothes, clean your face and show me one of your smiles"

He looked at me, tired and with puffy eyes. I pressed my lips on his and ofelt how he smiled.

"Smile, baby. Show them that you are strong, that you have the most beautiful smile even if your heart hurts like hell. I'll be there by your side like always". "I love you so much" he sighed and a little tear ran out of his eye. "I love you too, babe"

I walked behind him and when we saw Charlotte she gave me her recorder, smiling and nodding to me. I thanked her and grabbed Lando's hand, showing him the recorder and letting him know that I'll be by his side. He went to the interviews nervous, trying to not cry, and when he was trying to do it y squeezed his hand.

"Y/N" I heard Carlos on my back and turned around.

Lando was doing an interview alone, so I checked on him one last time and walked to the Spanish driver. When I was in front of him, he hugged me.

"Thank you so much for taking care of him. I was so worried that he closed himself and ran to the hotel instead doing the interviews" he whispered on my ear. "It's okay. And congratulations for the podium". "I would have enjoyed better if Lando was on top and I was second... it was our dream"

I smiled ti him and he walked to another interview. I saw George and called him, running to him and hugging him.

"This is for checking on him before" I thanked him and walked away hearing him laugh.

The next driver I shared a hig with was Daniel, who walked to us when we were coming back to the motorhome. He first hugged Lando, whispering something to him and then he hugged me.

"You are the best for him. You are his world. Thank you for looking after him, he deserves it". I smiled and tightened the hug a little bit more. "You finally bonded and I'm so happy for you, Daniel. He sees you as his big brother and his so happy to help you"

Daniel kissed my forehead and walked away, Lando and I watching how he greeted everyone.

"Let's go home, baby" he sighed, grabbing my hand and kissing it.

[sophsicle]

The world juniors have been so bad for my country :(( I'm from Latvia, and we've only won against Austria. Im just mostly sad for the boys (i literally can't watch sports games, i get way too sad for the losing team lmao)

AnYWay, do you remember the 2021 world championship where Latvia WON in the opening game against canada?? Bc that moment is just BURNED into any Latvian's dna. Like we WON against CANADA. THERE WERE CELEBRATIONS IN THE STREETS (we probably would've partied in the streets of Rīga the whole night, but there were covid restrictions, unfortunately, so it was kept to a minimum. BUT THERE WERE PEOPLE IN THE STREETS)

AND, fun fact, Latvia is one of the only three countries in the world where ice hockey is the most popular sport!! The other 2 are Canada and Finland obvs. So like. We LOVE hockey too, but our souls hurt every day because we aren't as good as you guys. (Except that time we won in 2021)

ALSO a game burned into every latvian's memory FOREVER is that 2014 Sochi Olympics game against Canada. Like. I cried so fucking much that night lmao. EVERYONE was watching the game. And we ALMOST won. Like the pure fucking suspense of sitting through that game, most of the time on 1-1. And that one moment, where Gudļevskis made an insane save to begin with and then Kristaps Sotnieks just fucking reached and pulled the puck away from the goal line??? When he couldn't even fucking see anything? And the puck was already ALMOST over the line??? Core memory of mine. Literal chills just thinking about it. Insane.

And im so close to crying just THINKING about how we lost it. Like. WE WERE SO CLOSE. JUST A FEW MORE MINUTES. Like if we had gotten to the shootout im CONVINCED we would've won. Gudļevskis was a freaking awesome goalie and i WILL fight anyone who disagrees.

And like worst part is that we really did our fucking best and all the guys played as well as they could. There's no one to be angry at. No one even thought we'd do that well. Everyone was surprised by the 1-2 bc it was expected that we'd lose by so much more. It was a good game. That doesn't change the fact that everyone in Latvia cried afterward. LIKE AHHHHHH

Okay long story short, our hockey history against canada is a SENSITIVE TOPIC. We will fight you if you imply anything bad about our boys in those games. Not a threat, just a warning (itstotallyathreat).

anyway, now that I've ranted for god knows how long, um... good luck in the juniors game against the USA? Im rooting for you guys (but full disclosure. If sweden plays for gold against you, ill be rooting for sweden. Bc I'll never forgive that Sochi game)

Also im aware that games against latvia are probably like. very insignificant for canada. BUT LISTEN THEY'RE IMPORTANT FOR US

Ok sorry for yelling in your asks. Im done now. Hockey brings out the passion yk

I want you to know I enjoyed every minute of reading this.

Also i totally get having loses that you can't let go of. My NHL team is the Habs (Montreal Canadiens) and like two years ago they went on a cup run and lost to Tampa Bay and like. I have never recovered. I hate Tampa Bay an unjustified amount. Also any time I see edits from that season I cry. Like. They got so close. And Carey Price DESERVED THAT CUP. HE DESERVED IT. UGH. And yeah, honestly I always feel bad for the teams when they lose no matter who they are (unless they're America, sorry I can't, the rivalry runs too deep, but literally everyone else), like you see their little faces, and they're so sad, they tried so hard, and I just wanna smush their lil cheeks and be like "buck up buddy, you'll get 'em next time" Honestly, so pumped for the Czech Republic and their win against Sweden, because they haven't won gold in like twenty years (I don't think they've played in the finals either) and I don't think anyone really thought they were gonna do much in this tournament (everything I heard was all Canada Finland USA) So like yes, I want Canada to win gold, but if the Czech Republic pulls this off I will honestly be a little proud of them - I love an underdog

[landosmilkyway]

Hiya! I'm tagging you for the 2021 Carlando Favourites challenge! Feel free to answer or ignore, whatever you wish! :) **What's your favourite 2021 Carlando: 1. ON-TRACK MOMENT; 2. OFF-TRACK MOMENT; 3. GIF; 4. QUOTE; 5. FIC; 6. FANART. Some bonus ones: 1. FAVOURITE 2021 CARLOS MOMENT & GIF; 2. FAVOURITE 2021 LANDO MOMENT & GIF; 3. YOUR HOPES FOR 2022 FOR CARLOS & LANDO.** Tag or send this to other Carlandians if you wish! Merry Christmas! xoxo

Ohh thanks for tagging me on this!!

2021 Carlando Favorites challenge

1. On track moment

🤙❤

and also when Lando got pole position and Carlos’ team radio was “Que cabrón” 😂

2. Off track moment

okay I have LOTS but these ones are over the top

It’s the admiration, the softness, the excitement, the love for each other.

And a special mention to golf dates and birthday reunions AND THE WHOLE SAO PAULO WEEK

3. GIF

As I've already used my fav gifs in the previous question, I'll leave you my favorite pictures from 2021

4. Quote

Carlos: “Yeah yesterday we had dinner together and that’s enough Lando for one night. He doesn’t want to get that close (to me) now.”

I also loved this post from Lando when they got together on the podium “Look at us, hey. Look at us”

5. Fic

I don't read any:(

6. Fanart

From @ferrarifwiends <3

7. 2021 Carlos moment & gif

Carlos’ last team radio in Abu Dhabi “a smooth fucking operator” “how cool is to finish like this” which is a great summary to his extraordinary season

Gif:

it’s way too funny every time I see it I crack kasjandsds

8. 2021 Lando moment & gif

It has to be his pole position in Sochi. 

Gif: 

I couldn’t choose but.. he is looking proud here and the way he stares at people cheering for him, it’s very pleasant💗

9. Hopes for 2022 for Carlando

Honestly... I only wish they keep their relationship the way it is now. Profesionally, I want them to win a race each one and have more podiums together, or the peak would be one being in the other's first win podium. That would be amazing.

Merry christmas to you as well anon🥰🥰

[Feel free to do this tag]

[stupidlittleangel]

2021…

SO BETTY WHITE DIED—

Anyway, in a sense, this year was definitely better compared to last year. I made so many lovely memories with new people and I couldn’t be happier. So much I’ve accomplished. So much I’ve achieved and received. So here we go.

My beautiful friends irl… I can’t thank you enough for always reminding me that I have people I can always lean on. Whether it’s work, school, or anything really. I’m forever grateful and forever in your debt. I love you all so much. 🖤

Tumblr:

@muttreaper : Daz, my bubba 🖤 we spent another year together!! You’ve continuously made it better too, and I can’t thank you enough for that, really. Knowing that you’ll always be by my side is enough to keep me going. Never lose touch of that. 🖤🥀

@drmdick: mi mama!! Mi papita!! Mi alma mi vida mi todo!

The one person that deserves the title of… DREAM’S FUCK BABY 💚

THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS MAKING THIS YEAR AND MANY MORE MEMORABLE AND FUN!! 🖤🌷

@akiiyukii: Aki preciosa!! We’ve only met this year but I’m very happy that we did! You’re an absolute baby and I would do everything and anything in the world to protect you 🖤💍

@sarasanddollar: SARA!! Thank you for another memorable year!! I’m always gonna love the art you make, and dazai is definitely always gonna be by your side, I guarantee it! 🖤💕

@ygm1slt: Mads!! Thank you for being there always!! Our rps are so much fun and I’m so happy to have met someone like you. I love you so much baby, please don’t ever forget to take care of yourself 🖤🔍

Vtube/Twitch:

VirusuSama: Ashe, my baby, the memories we created together is truly amazing, you’re always a blast to hang out with, and I genuinely enjoy our talks on the phone, and playing video games with you. I genuinely hope that this new year will bring you lots of good health as well. 🖤🐰

Seikyuu VA: Kyuusaku!! I know I tend to be pushy but I hope you know it’s all fun. In all other notes, your voice instantly makes my day brighter and I can fall asleep knowing I’m safe too. It’s literal medicine, you’re a blessing to have around. Not only that, you always know how to make a bitch laugh, and our little contests always make me happy too. Please never lose that sense of adventure and happiness, it’s contagious, and who knows, maybe one day you’ll put the world into a contagion of tenderness. 🖤🐱

LemunShark: WEMUN!! Mi princesita! Lol I know we only met this year but I genuinely have never laughed so hard with an alien like you!! I hope we can play video games and have sleepovers in the new year 🖤🛸

LyngreyAnkari: Lyn, mi vida 🖤 I’m so so so happy we met 🖤🖤 you’ve been nothing but kind to me and you’ve been so sweet 🖤 I can only hope that this year brings you so much love and care, especially in your travels. Cuídate mi corazón 🖤🎤

Anyone else I may have missed!! I can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done to make my year brighter 🖤

FWAAHHH!! I’m hoping this year will bring more opportunities for me here!! And elsewhere as well!! I’ve never been this happy during the end of the year 🖤 I wish you all loads and loads of loveliness and good luck 🖤 and as always, if this year was crappy, then hey! It’s a new year, so it’ll all be okay 🖤🖤🖤

Here’s to a new beginning, 🥂

Happy New Year 🖤

- Chihxru // Sochi

[chimielie]

I’M THE ANON WHO REQUESTED THE OIKAWA + FIGURE SKATER!READER AND HONESTLY I’M DEAD i woke up and went to read this first thing in the morning and i had THE BIGGEST GRIN on my face i felt like i was a little kid again on christmas day and i know i’m gonna keep on coming back to reread this!! it was so much fun to read (oikawa and the condoms LMAOOOO i know the stuff about the “anti-sex” beds was debunked already but i bet his teammates were like ;))) hey you sure you don’t want to test out your bed for future reference)

and i agree with that other anon, whipped oikawa supremacy!!! whipped blushy flustered oikawa is one of my favorite oikawas, as is the intense, driven oikawa that the reader gets a sneak peek of when he asks if they’re speaking about the games from experience. i love that he literally is like :000 when the reader reveals that she went to sochi and pyongchang and how oikawa says “holy fucking shit” like what i mentioned in my initial ask haha

He does like passion, evidently, he thinks your demonstrable expertise is hot. He likes athleticism, and drive, and going the distance. He likes you, and you have all these things, and it’s frightening, how seductive not even five minutes of watching you in your element was.

YES YES YES oikawa finding these qualities insanely attractive has always been a hc of mine (like even if it’s not volleyball as seen here) and i’m happy to see that other people think the same too!! (the line about the condoms that immediately followed it though 😳😳)

AH ONE LAST THING i like the favor the brave reference you put in!! i like the implication that these two works take place in the same universe (for lack of a better way to describe it) because now i want to see the readers in both stories interact my first thought was in like some double date thing lmaooo

okay okay okay enough of my rambling it’s just that my brain went Wild i really can’t stress enough how much i love it and i’m so glad you had a lot of fun writing it!! thank you so much once again for doing my request^^

omg i’m standing in like. the middle of target rn with the biggest smile on my face rn i am so so glad you liked it!! i was like shit u don’t even meet the reader until almost 1k words in... i hope anon won’t be mad LMAO so i am !!! really happy you feel this way about it! i really treasure this response hahah

and GASP i should’ve put the anti-sex beds in jsbdjsjd a scene where they’re like. jumping on the bed and accidentally break it would’ve been so funny omg,, extra scenes anyone?? 😳 in addition to the double date idea aaa i love that

i absolutely think oikawa is super attracted to people who are just as adamant that they’re going to chase their dream no matter what it takes and like. that’s the kind of person he falls in love with eventually (and the train of thought @ that line was AAAA i have to make the condoms relevant or else that entire 800 words about it are useless sjdjsksk

i love the rambling and i loved filling your request!! feel free to do so again anytime (once requests are open again anyway LOL)

[spine-buster]

Alone, Together | Chapter 28 | Morgan Rielly

A/N: I couldn’t bear to re-live too much of the playoffs so...yeah.  This is the last chapter to deal with them.  We are now moving on to the summer!  Fun and interesting shenanigans ahead!

Lmao wow. So official with ur jacket in the wag group pic. Bet u begged the other wags for a jacket and to be in the pic.

You look really cute in your jacket!  I think you’d look better if you were maybe Steph or Madison’s size though!  Other than that, super cute!

OMG you are honestly the most desperate person in the city of Toronto

pls pls pls how can I become a wag

can u give Auston my number 416 555 0123

So…how’s Scotiabank treating you?

For the love of God, sign up for a yoga class girl.  Pilates.  Start jogging.  Something.  Nothing about your body is flattering.  You can’t tell me Morgan likes all that flab.  You were always a calf but you’ve been a cow since Christmas.

You want to make it seem like you’re ‘part of the group’ of WAGs but we can all tell you’re not.  They include you to be nice but in reality, they probably don’t even speak to you outside of the arena.  To think you are isolating Morgan from his friends and teammates – and for what?  So you can have a WAG jacket one year?  So you can flaunt in front of everyone?  Morgan would be so much better off with someone who doesn’t leech off of him and who doesn’t reek of desperation.  

***

Bee didn’t know how she survived all the way up to game six.  It was a back and forth between the Leafs and the Bruins and she didn’t know how she was going to handle this game, with the Leafs being able to eliminate the Bruins if they won.  The Leafs won game three, even though at 6:15pm that same Monday, it came down that Naz had been suspended for the rest of the series – however long that was.  The boys were angry, but they tried not to let it show.  That Wednesday, they lost 6-4.  Morgan got two assists that night but they still couldn’t capitalize.  In Boston for game five, the Leafs won 2-1, with Morgan getting another assist on Kappy’s goal.  Now, with game six about to start, she was jittery.  She even felt hot in the jacket but couldn’t bear to take it off.

She was praying for an Easter miracle.  

Once everyone settled back into their seats after the singing of the anthems by Martina, her leg couldn’t stop bobbing up and down.  It was Aryne who had to lay her hand on Bee’s thigh to get her to stop.  “Are you nervous or something?” she asked sarcastically.  

“How have you done this for almost ten years?” Bee asked.  “I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“You’re going to be okay.  You get used to it,” Aryne said.  “Besides, this is actually only the fourth time John’s made the playoffs.”

“What?  Really?”

Aryne nodded her head.  “When we went to Sochi it was much more nerve-wracking.  But that’s besides the point.  You need to calm down.”

“So if they win this, they face the Columbus Blue Jackets, because the Blue Jackets swept the Tampa Bay Lightning,” Bee listed off, remembering the look of the bracket in her head.  

“Exactly.”

“Could we beat the Blue Jackets?  Like in a series?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Bee’s chest tightened.  “So…like…we could really do this.”

Aryne nodded her head.  “Really really.  But we can’t think about that right now.  We need to focus on beating the Bruins.”

Morgan opened the scoring.  It happened about ten minutes into the first period, a one timer from the blue line thanks to Willy keeping it in the Bruins zone, and Bee erupted from her seat with the crowd to scream and cheer for him, even high-fiving a man and his son who were seated in front of her.  She looked up at the jumbrotron to see him fist-bumping with the bench before they replayed the goal.  Her heart fluttered in her chest knowing that he had opened the scoring in such a big game, motivating the rest of the team.  

That didn’t last long though.  Brad Marchand scored less than two minutes later, and another goal by Krug ended the first period.  DeBrusk, still playing even though there were rumours that he had a concussion, scored in the second period.  Auston scored in the third period and tried to rally the team to tie it.  Late in the game, Morgan and Jake DeBrusk got into a little…scuffle on the ice, and DeBrusk pushed Morgan’s helmet off.  There was an exchange of words, a little pushing and shoving, and Bee couldn’t bear it.

“PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!” she screamed at the top of her lungs, surprising even herself at the ferocity and volume of her demand.  She stood up in her seat to watch the aftermath and the replays on the jumbotron.  Surely an opponent pulling off the helmet of another player would result in a penalty?  “WHAT FUCKING BULLSHIT!” she screamed at the top of her lungs again.

“Bee, there are children present,” Aryne grabbed her hand.

“FUCK YOU DEBRUSK!” she shouted one more time before sitting down, huffing and puffing in anger as they showed a replay yet again.  “I guess game two let us all know the Bruins can do whatever the fuck they want and get away with it!” she said loudly, but not as loud as before.  She looked at Aryne.  “Can you believe this?!”

“Yes Bee, it’s game six of the playoffs,” she giggled slightly.  “This is the most I’ve seen you get riled up about hockey ever.  I think Mo needs to start getting more physical more often,” she wiggled her eyebrows.

Bee snorted.  If only Aryne knew.  “I just…nobody’s allowed to touch him.  Nobody.  I’ll deal with them myself if I have to.”

Unfortunately, the Leafs couldn’t capitalize and Brad Marchand scored again.  The final was 4-2.  They’d be going back to Boston.

Another game 7.  

Bee could see the looks on everyone’s faces as the buzzer rang to signal the end of the game.  The girls who had been through this before – Alannah, Lucy, Madison, and others – were not smiling.  At all.  There was a look of worry mixed with dread on their faces.  As fans filed out of the arena, the girls all sat in their places, staring at each other.  Nobody got up – Bee didn’t think anyone had the strength to.  There was always a lot of media after the games, anyway, so there was no point in leaving when the fans did.

Aryne, forever the optimist, saw the look on Bee’s face.  “They can do this, Bee.  I know they can,” she said.  “We need to stay positive.”

“I know they can.  The question is if they will,” Bee mused.  “What if they get those awful referees from game two again?”

“They won’t.  The NHL will never let them officiate another game again, they were so bad.  We need to stay positive.  They have all the tools they need.  They can beat the Bruins.”

Bee wished she could be as positive.

***

Morgan wasn’t a man of many words when he came out of the locker room.  He gave Bee a kiss and said goodbye to everyone before they descended down to the parking garage.  Rocco and Clarette had invited them over for an Easter dinner, and that’s where they were supposed to be headed.  But Bee could see the dejected look on Morgan’s face and the bags under his eyes.  She knew he would probably rather just go home.  She knew he was tired, aching, that he now had a flight to catch tomorrow to go into enemy territory.  

As they got into the car, she looked over at him and put her hand over his.  “I can call Clarette and tell her you’re tired if you want to go home,” Bee said softly.  “They’ve been watching.  They’ll understand.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Morgan, come on,” she said.  “If you want to just go home we can go home.  Or I can take the subway up myself and you can go and rest.”

“No no no,” he said, flipping over his hand to hold hers and bring it to his lips to kiss.  “We promised them we’d be there for Easter dinner.  Clarette’s probably made four different courses.  We’re going.  I’m okay.”

“Morgan.”

“Briony, I want to take my mind off of hockey right now,” he said, his voice sombre, firm, and resolved.  “I want to be around family.”

She couldn’t protest.  Not when she heard the tone of his voice, not as he cradled her hand in his against his chest, not as he looked at her with his blue eyes.  She couldn’t do it.  “Promise me you’ll tell me you want to go the second you want to?  Don’t feel obligated to stay longer.”

“I will Bumblebee.  I promise,” he said, kissing her hand one last time before pulling out of the parking spot.

When they arrived, it was Rocco who opened the door to greet them.  “Mr. Goal Scorer tonight!” he beamed as he hugged Morgan.  “Great goal tonight!”

“Thank you,” Morgan smiled.

“And you!” Rocco turned his attention to Bee.  “That jacket looks great!”  She spun around so he could see the giant Maple Leafs logo on the back and he oohed and awed at it.  “Can I buy one too?”

Bee giggled as she showed him the ‘Rielly’ patch on her arm.  “You have to start dating Morgan to get one.”

“He’s handsome.  That could happen.”

They broke out into a fit of laughter as Sarah Jessica Barker came running towards them, bringing with her Angie, Mason, and Joshua.  Morgan bent down to pet her and coo at her while Angie, Mason, and Josh looked on with amused expressions on their faces.  “Sorry about the game,” Angie said as Sarah Jessica Barker had enough of Morgan and moved on to Bee.  

“What are we having for dinner?” Morgan asked.  His way of letting her know he didn’t want to talk about it.  Angie got the hint.  So did everyone else.  

“We’re Italian.  We have lamb on Easter,” Rocco informed him.

“We’re also French-Canadian,” Clarette piped up from the kitchen.  Morgan couldn’t help but laugh.  “We are also French-Canadian and have butter tarts to offset the Italian lamb.”

“That’s what I like to hear, Clarette!  Dessert!” Morgan called out to her as she appeared from the kitchen.  “I’m sorry we had to push this back so late because of me.”

“Late?  What late?  It’s barely 7.  Italians have dinner at 9pm,” she said, side-eyeing her husband.  “But everything is ready, so everyone should go sit at the table.”

***

pls tell ur boyfriend the next game is kind of important and if he could step it up that would be nice

lemme guess…ur going to boston on mo’s dime for game 7?  U have a job yet u never work. So lazy.

No matter how hard you try you will never be as pretty as Steph or Cassie.  Don’t know why you think you are.  Don’t bother.  

You know all the other girls are talking about you behind your back, right?  Word on the street is you’re the most desperate social climber ever, and when the playoffs are over, you’ll be gone too.  On to the next hockey player, slut.

***

Bee didn’t have anymore nail polish on.  She had peeled off her shellac from sheer anxiety.  Going into the second period, the Bruins were up 2-0, and then John had scored thanks to an assist from Tyler.  Going into the third, it was 2-1.  The boys could do this.  They could do this.  They could do this.

Bee decided against getting together with any of the girls.  She was too nervous and she didn’t want any of them to see just how worried, panicky, and jumpy she was.  She was alone in the apartment and, honestly, right now, she preferred it that way.  She could yell at the TV without anyone looking at her.  She could yell stupid stuff, stuff that probably didn’t even make sense, and nobody would say anything.  She could cry in peace if she wanted to.  She also knew that, regardless of the outcome, the boys would be on a flight after the game, coming home in the middle of the night.  She wanted to be home for Morgan.  Regardless of the outcome.

When the third period started Bee was optimistic.  But less than three minutes in, Sean Kuraly scored.  3-1.  The boys could still do this.  They could come back.

Then Charlie Coyle scored near the end.  4-1.  Bee’s chest tightened.  That was what the score was during that awful game seven in 2013 before the Bruins came back.  Maybe the boys could do the same, with much, much less time.

Patrice Bergeron.  An empty-netter.  5-1.  The Bruins fans went wild.  A waterfall of tears streamed down Bee’s cheeks.

The Toronto Maple Leafs had been eliminated from the playoffs.

Despite her sadness and despite her pain, she kept the TV on.  The stupid panellists with their stupid opinions provided background noise for her tears, but she didn’t listen to anything they had to say.  Why would she when they were trashing Fred, saying he was incapable of being a “game seven goalie”, whatever the fuck that meant, when just two weeks earlier they were calling him the best goaltender in the world?  Why would she when all they did was go over every single little thing the Leafs did wrong?  Why would she listen to them completely tear apart and break down a team they all relied on for their hefty paycheques?  She wasn’t stupid – she knew how sports media worked.  She knew the Leafs provided rating and that their ratings were through the roof because of this – they’d probably be getting some nice bonus cheques.  They were all feckless – all of them.  They changed their opinions on the fly, whenever it suited them, whenever it got them more ratings and more viewers who ended up adopting their shit opinions.  ‘Experts my ass’ Bee thought.  Especially that Nik Kypreos guy.  What an idiot.

And then Morgan appeared on the screen.

She wanted to scream.  Were they actually interviewing him right now?  Really?!  Not even two minutes after the end of the game and they had paraded him out of the locker room into some hallway to answer asinine questions about another heartbreaking game seven?  ‘LET THEM GRIEVE!’ she wanted to shout.  ‘LET THEM FUCKING GRIEVE!’  But no.  Apparently that was impossible.  They wanted every sound bite they could get just so they could talk about it for fifteen minutes afterwards.  Because they Leafs were money.  That’s all they were to these people – sound bites and ratings and money.  They weren’t just hockey players dejected after a loss; they weren’t men who put everything they had into the game, into the entire series, into the entire season; worse yet, they weren’t human beings with complex emotions who didn’t want microphones and cameras shoved in their faces as they dealt with the insurmountable fact that they had let an entire city down.  Money.

She looked at him and how dejected he looked, how heavy his breathing was underneath all his gear.  She wanted to shatter every plate in their kitchen against a wall in anger.  When he was finally released and went back to the locker room, she shed more tears.  God knows how many reporters would be waiting for them in there, too.

She just wanted him home.  God, all she wanted was for him to come home.

***

When Bee heard the door unlock at almost 2am, she jumped off the couch but stood stoic in her place.  She watched as Morgan pushed open the door, lugging himself into his apartment, letting the door close behind him.  The first thing he looked for was her.  She was all he wanted to see.

“Baby…” she mumbled, running over to him.  “Baby, baby, come here.”

She grabbed on and attached herself to him like he was going to float away.  He immediately wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her neck.  He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him tightly.  Almost absent-mindedly, he walked them over to their bedroom before collapsing on the bed.  He didn’t let go.  She felt tears on her neck as they lay there, wrapped into each other, and she began running her fingers through his hair and playing with the tufts of hair at the base of his neck, knowing it was soothing for him.  It was all she could do; all she knew she could do.  There wasn’t anything she could say that would make him feel better.  There were no words for this.  No words besides “I love you,” which she whispered to him over and over again, for however long she needed to.

***

“We couldn’t do it.”

That’s what Morgan kept repeating.  

“We couldn’t do it.”

Bee couldn’t rewrite history.  “You couldn’t do it now.  But you can and you will.  One day.”  It was all she could offer.

“We couldn’t do it.”

***

Bee had pre-emptively taken the day off.  She didn’t need to worry about work and, quite frankly, didn’t exactly want to right now.  She got a text from Mark early that morning.  Tell Morgan we were rooting for him all the way.  We’re proud of him.  He’s one of the only guys who showed up to play the game the entire series.

Bee read the text out to him.  He said nothing.

***

Bee only left the bed to make him breakfast – some Greek yogurt with an organic granola mix and some fresh raspberries and sliced bananas.  When she brought it to him, still in bed, she saw he was in and out of sleep.  She could only imagine he was trying to survive on his last legs of energy by this point.  She placed the bowl on the side table before helping him out of his clothes so he could at least be comfortable in his sleep.  He moved around absent-mindedly to help her, but she knew he wasn’t there.  He probably thought he was hallucinating.  When she was finished, she cupped his face in the palm of her hand gently.  She’d put the granola mix in the fridge to eat later.  

“Y’know what?” he mumbled out suddenly, barely audible or understandable through his fatigue, his eyes cracking open only slightly to look at her.

“What?”

“I wanna take care’f you.”

Bee didn’t understand what he meant.  She thought for sure he was dreaming already and in some form of sleep paralysis or lucid dreaming.  “What are you talking about?”

“I wanna give you s’much you c’n quit your job n’do s’mthin’ you really love.  Cause I love you.”

Bee was completely still as the words escaped his mouth.  Before she could come back to, or say anything, she heard his soft snores.

***

It was a few days until Morgan returned to his normal self.  Well, semi-normal.  

The locker clear out was scheduled for Saturday, April 27th, and because they were leeches who didn’t know when to stop sucking the life out of something, the media was expected there.  Mike Babcock would hold a press conference.  The summer rumour mill began of who was staying and who was not; who was going to earn these many millions here and who was going to earn those many millions somewhere else.  Morgan spoke to the media, as he always did.  Off-camera they asked about what he would get up to the entire summer over in Vancouver, since naturally he’d go home.  ‘Lots of golfing, probably,’ he’d answered.  ‘Dad’s birthday at the beginning of June.  Long walks with Maggie where she gets to swim – she loved swimming.  She’s queen of the ocean, too.  Lots of poolside days.  Good wine on the deck.  Back to Toronto for the Pride Parade.  Fishing trips too, as always.  But mostly just stick around home.’

Of course Morgan would go home.  He deserved more than anybody to go home to his family, to take in the fresh air of the B.C. coast and rejuvenate himself.  He deserved to relax; to kick his feet up and sleep with Maggie in his lap; to take the boat out to Gibsons for oysters or to chase pods of whales again.  He deserved to go fishing.  Go golfing.  Do anything he wanted to do.  Isolate himself from the outside world, from hockey.  Live through summer on his rules, how he wanted to.  

She just wondered how their life in Toronto factored into that.

It was a long flight, from Toronto to Vancouver, and Morgan was meant to relax.  She didn’t want him to feel obligated to do anything he didn’t want to do.  They had events that they needed to attend together, sure – like Zach’s wedding at the end of June – but she wondered how all that would factor into him taking time for himself.  She knew they would work it out, like they always did, but it was four months of summer that needed to be accounted for and planned.  There was only so much time she could take off at work – they both knew that.  So she’d have to stay in Toronto.  She wondered if his schedule would be like how she assumed last summer’s was, when she met him.  A bit of time here, a bit of time there, a bit of time anywhere he wanted to be.  

When the locker clean out was all said and done, Bee and Morgan sat together in their apartment, her legs draped over his.  It was all she thought about on the way home.  Since the reporter had asked the question.  “What are we going to do this summer?”

“Well, we have Zach’s wedding and--”

“You deserve to go home,” Bee blurted out.  She was trying desperately not to let her tears fall.  Being without him for long stretches of time was going to be hard – just like it was during the season – but he needed it more than anything.  “You deserve to go home and relax for a bit.  You’ve had a tough year outside of hockey, too.”

She watched as his brows furrowed at her words.  “What was so tough outside of hockey?” he asked.

“Me.  The break-in.  My mom dying.  You didn’t deserve to have to deal with that and--”

He cut her off by giving her a kiss.  “Do you mean outside of hockey, when I met the love of my life?”

She couldn’t handle his words.  The tears escaped her slowly, and immediately she wiped them away with the backs of her hands.  Morgan leaned forward again, capturing her lips in another kiss, and soon, they couldn’t tear themselves away from each other.  It was only when they had to break for air that he spoke again.  “I am going to go home, Briony.  But only for a bit.  I’ll be back and forth, but it’ll be okay.”

“You need to take this time to relax,” she stressed, putting her hand on his chest.  “You can’t go back and forth all the time.  This is your time off.”

“I’ll be fine.  It’s nothing that I’m not used to,” he said.  “Besides, you know I can’t go too long without seeing you.”

She sighed again.  “I can’t go too long without seeing you either.  But your priority shouldn’t be me, your priority should be yourself.”

“Hey, you’re always my priority,” he said, grabbing hold on her hand on his chest.  “You’re my home now too, Bumblebee.  Don’t you ever forget it.”

She internalized his words as much as she could.  You’re my home now too, Briony.  She never thought she’d hear those words – that someone would consider her home.  But of course Morgan did, and Morgan was the one to say it about her.  And even though she knew that in her close future she’d be spending more time than she liked alone, she knew that once he came back to her, they’d go back to being themselves, together.  “Let’s…let’s take out our calendars.”

“Bumblebee.”

“I want to see when you’ll be gone.  I know you’re out in PEI with Dion an the Boys and Girls Club, and I know--”

“Bumblebee--”

“Please Morgan.  Just take out your calendar.  For me.”

He didn’t fight it.  He moved to take his phone out of his pocket and he opened the calendar.  “I’m going to see if I can catch a flight to Vancouver mid-week, okay?  It can give us a couple of more days together,” he said.  Bee nodded her head, cuddling more into him so she could lay her head on his chest, just below his shoulder.  “We don’t have much in May.  I know you have Alannah’s bachelorette party on the 11th but it’s not like I need to come to that.  I can be back in town for the long weekend the following week and stay for a while.  But then I want to be back home for dad’s birthday.  I want to take him golfing.  We always go golfing for his birthday.”

“Of course,” Bee said.  She couldn’t help but smile slightly.  “Back and forth, back and forth – it’s gonna be like hockey didn’t even stop.”

“What did I tell you?” he smirked, giving her a quick kiss.  “I’m gonna miss your cooking.”

“I’m gonna miss you eating all my cooking,” she said.  “The apartment is going to feel so empty with you gone.”

“You should get a gerbil.”

She snorted as he wiggled his eyebrows at her.  “Don’t tempt me, Morgan Rielly.  You’ll come back in May and this place will be a literal zoo.”

“If that’s what you want that’s fine by me,” he mumbled, leaning in to kiss her again, and again, and again.  Eventually, he pulled her on to his lap and let his hands wander underneath her shirt.  “I’m gonna miss this most,” he mumbled against her lips.

“Me too,” she agreed, her hands cupping his face so she could look at him.  He had shaved off his playoff beard, and there was only stubble now.  She ran her thumbs along his jawline.  “Gonna miss waking up to those baby blues every morning.”

He gave her another kiss.  “Gonna miss waking up with my face between your thighs.”

A smile broke out on her face.  “You’re a perv.”

“Only for you.”

***

Tick tock tick tock…who is the next hockey player you’re gonna fuck for relevancy?

I bet ur gonna try to get with auston next.  Or fred.  You’re such a slut

Now is your chance to turn into a hot girl for hot girl summer.  Join a gym ffs!!!!!!!!!!

[macaroni-rascal]

Transcrip: Tessa and Scott PJ Kwong Interview

Transcript made from 2016 worlds interview with PJ Kwong, the full video is at the end of the transcript. I didn’t transcribe any of the names of the people who were asking questions and often just summarized what PJ was saying but stayed accurate with all the answers, except the ones we’ve heard before. 

For the every lovely Marcia ( @bivirtuealone ) and anyone else who is interested!

PJ: We are live with Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir

Scott: Hi! I never know when it’s flipped.

Tessa: Yeah! (laugh) It’s exciting, thanks for having us!

PJ: Thank you for doing it! Couple questions via Facebook, what are you guys most excited about for next year? Love you guys!

S: Oh! Well, love you too, first of all. (laugh) What are we most excited about for next year? There is so much! There is a lot we are looking forward to. It’s funny, little time away has really renewed our passion for figure skating. I think, to be honest, this is cliché, I’m really excited to get back and to train and to be an athlete again. We’ve spent a couple weeks with Marie France and Patrice already and their coaching is so fantastic and it just feels great to learn more about our sport. So that’s what I’m most excited about.

PJ: What would you guys say has been for favourite costume over the years?

Scott: Oh, that’s a good question.

T: Thanks for writing that in! I think my original Carmen dress with the long sleeves, the deep V, and the ruffles. My mom designed that and I’m not sure I appreciated it at the time but looking back at the detail I think it was perfect for the program.

S: My favourite costume was that Carmen was as well. I’m pretty lucky in my career, I liked a lot of my costumes but that black long sleeve Carmen one was just simple and everyone knows I like skating black so I was very happy with that.

T: It had a bit of mesh, I liked that.

S: Bit of mesh! Yeah.

PJ: Who doesn’t like a bit of illusion.

S: (He says “oh helloooo there” in a funny little accent)

PJ: What got you guys into skating.

T: (Tells story of grade 1 field trip, and wanting to be competitive)

S: (Tells story of getting tricked into it, couldn’t skate, mom was a skating coach, etc.)

PJ: What is the most challenging stunt you’ve ever performed and why?

S: We had a couple that never made it to competition.

T: Yeah! We spent months and months and months where I stood on Scott shoulders. I wasn’t a pair girl I wasn’t used to the height it was quite scary, trained only to realize it would have been illegal anyway.

S: Not even that cool.

T: Not that cool.

S: It was scary, you were just so much higher than usual.

T: Especially when I went to do the backflip off of you. (Just casually back flipping off of his shoulders on to the ice, fuck Tessa)

S: Yeah, I did the front flip while you did the back flip. (Tessa laugh)

PJ: Commenter says “Love your skating and good luck!”

T: That’s so nice!

S: That is so nice. We have such amazing support from Canadian fans and fans around the world, we’ve always felt pretty blessed but –

T: It’s nice to connect with people this way.

S: I didn’t think people would remember who we are to be honest, so. (Tessa laugh)

T: (they are drinking coffee) We are so casual with are coffees, is this okay?

PJ: Yes, are you kidding? Question for Tessa, but I want Scott to answer too. What is your favourite animal?

Both: OH!

T: I love elephants, I always have I love that they are very matriarchical and I’m very close to my mom and my sister, and my grandma, and if I ever got a tattoo I would get three elephants, three or four in a row, I’m just not bold enough.  

PJ: To signify you are your family?

T: Yeah, I love elephants.

PJ: They hurt, not elephants, tattoos.

T: Yeah, I’ll stay away.

S: I don’t even think I have a favourite animal.

Tessa says something about elephants, but we only hear PJ go “If you met my dog you’d love him! Then Scott replies to whatever Tessa said:

S: You really like elephants, that’s not something you just came up with, we’ve talked about this, probably too often.

T: HA! This is my favourite game to play with Scott, especially when we are in the car.

S: Oh my god, yeah (Tessa laughs) whatisit—inside the actors studio?

T: And I like fire away –

S: What’s your favourite sound?

T: I’ll sleep better at night knowing the answers to all those questions.

PJ: You are different kids, I want you to talk about being in the car on your way to training.

T: Oh gosh.

S: Yeah.

T: Our poor parents, I cannot believe they did that at 4am three or four times a week.

S: Our biggest concern was whether we’d stop at the Tim Hortons or the MacDonalds on the way home.

T: To get our hot chocolate. Well mostly on the way, on the drive – well Scott got me a Marvin the Martian body pillow which was ginormous—

S: Pretty cute for a little guy, gotta say.

T: And he’d have a pillow and we both put our pillows up and kinda go 1,2,3, and lean in towards each other and just sleep the entire car ride.

S: We were cute back then. We’ve changed. (Tessa laugh) I was thoughtful too, like a big body pillow? Tessa was like as big as the body pillow, literally.

PJ: Oh no! Someone is about to pass out from excitement, I’m assuming about you guys.

T: Oh wow! Don’t pass out. Stay with us, stay with us.

S:  Stay with us.

PJ: Scott, do you have any tattoos, if not what would you get?

S: I don’t have any tattoos. I always wanted (to Tessa) do you know what I’m gonna say?

T: I do (laughs)

S: I always wanted a picture of myself on my back like “smiling and giving finger guns – tessa is laughing) you know? So if I’m walking down the beach people are just like “heyyyyy’ I can do that from all angles. (mumbles) From Steve-O though, so can’t do it.

PJ: What do you think about Romeo and Juliet music?

S: We’ve worked on that for years!

T: Yeah.

S: We wanted to do that for years.

T: Yeah.

S: We were actually told at one point we were too old to be Romeo and Juliet. (Tessa’s face is hilarious here, a screen shot for you)

T: I think its just gorgeous music. And I think, we also talked about the idea of using that music but maybe portraying a different story line, why not? Because that music is gorgeous.

S: Mhm, so many great pieces there.

T: We’ll still – we’re working on that maybe, one time.

PJ: Kris Young wants to know do you have a favourite moment that doesn’t involve climbing?

S: Kris Young the singer?

T: (laughs) Kris Young the hockey coach. (Tessa sips coffee)

S: OH! (laughs) Did he say he has a favourite moment from Sochi?

PJ: That’s doesn’t involve climbing?

S: He was there! Very sneaky.

T: Nice try Kris, we’re not dishin’.

S: In the vault, buddy.

PJ: What your favourite ISU set pattern dance to do?

S: That is a good question.

PJ: Wanna know mine? Argentine tango?

S: Ohhhh, that’s one of my favourites.

T: Yeah, that one is fun.

S: I liked the arge (calls it “The Arge) – it was a good dance for us. Tessa’s favourite of all time is the Fiesta (tango fiesta) (T laughs)

PJ: Oh, did you do the arm cross in front, cross behind?

T: Yeah! (laughs) It’s good I’m a tango person cause I was gonna say the Romantica.

S: Yeah, there’s a lot of good ones. I do like the set pattern dances, especially for development but, I like the more complicated ones, waltzes, the newer ones, the golden, the Austrian, just more complicated and more fun to watch and do – so.

PJ: What’s your fav hockey team?

T: I mean we’re leafs fans, right?

S: Right. Babsy is king.

T: Especially with Mike there.

S: Babsy is KING! (Laughs) Oh, I almost spilled my coffee all over you.

PJ: What do you guys do for fun?

T: Oh good question.

S: LOTS!

T: Well, we just had a stint of a lot of fun things. Its been neat taking a step away from competition and trying new activities. Whether it was broadcasting like here with CBC or acting, or fashion. But for fun, in the summer we like to golf.

PJ: Are you good golfers?

S: She’s amazing. I was just going to say because no, I’m not good at all.

T: It’s a hard game that’s for sure.

PJ: We don’t have to worry about you switching sports just yet.

S: No.

PJ: Are you going to be doing more installments of the Scott and Tessa show?

S: (hilarious low incredulous laugh)

T: It’s funny they must be re-airing that because people are coming up to us and I think they think it’s happening right now.

S: Yeah, my grandpa called me really concerned the other day. (T laughs) I was in Toronto and I didn’t tell him cause I was supposed to be taking him to breakfast.

T: Oh that’s funny.

PJ: We love your grandpa by the way.

Both: He’s amazing.

T: None planned right now, no.

PJ: Would you guys ever throw the first pitch at a baseball game?

S: DID IT!

T: We did that, it was terrifying.

S: It was awesome, we’d do it again in a heartbeat.

T: I don’ think I’ve ever been so nervous.

PJ: Who got to throw it?

S: We both got to throw!

T: At the same time, yeah.

S: Tessa said that she didn’t wanna throw and I talked her into it, then she out threw me.

T: No, I didn’t! I had to practice with my brothers in the backyard so many times.

S: We talked and we talked and we were just like, “we are just gonna throw it nice and easy so it—just kind of lob’er in there.

T: We wanted unison.

S: Tessa just pulled back and let one go. It went in the dirt a little.

T: It wasn’t great, it wasn’t great.

PJ: People don’t realize it’s a long way to the pitchers mound.

T: Yes!

S: Its nerves.

T: I practiced on a much shorter distance I think, so it was really daunting to actually get up there.

S: If I could do it again, I’d go up on the hill and I’d kick the leg—do it all.

T: I’d want the catcher to give me the signal, spit a little bit, maybe put some tobacco in my mouth.

PJ: You wouldn’t spit!

S: She’d turn it into a dance move or something! Maybe they’ll have to ask us again.

PJ: Maybe you could throw Tessa?

(laughs)

S: We should have gone into The Goose and have her throw it in. (more laughs)

PJ: That would have been a great idea!

S: We’ll see. We’re creative.

PJ: No doubt about that. If not skating, what sport/activity would you have pursued?

T: Realistically I think I would have pursued dance—

S: For sure.

T: Or ballet. Now? If I were to switch sports, I’d love to be a tennis player. I’m a little short but—loved to play tennis.

S: We should go play.

T: Yeah, that’s next on my list. Let’s do that.

S: Okay, you’re on.

T: We’ll keep you posted on that match. (laughs)

PJ: What people don’t know, is the famous backyard Moir games. I want you to describe –

S: Oh yeah! The backyard games, man!

PJ: With the frisbee –

S: Frippet (sp?),  you know about Frippet. You’re impressive Peej. The Moirs, we are like a bbq backyard family, so we hang out on the back deck a lot. And pretty much anything you can do with one hand is a good game for you and we play this little bag with beanbags. It’s a lot of hours in the backyard. That’s what I would be, I would be a profession leisure sport player.

(I had to stop and laugh, some rural Canadian shit, one handed game so the other is free for your drink)

T: Lawn bowling.

S: Lawn bowling! Oh, that’s a real sport.

T: Oh that’s real, I don’t know why I said that.

S: I dunno, lawn bowlers out there.

Then he like makes a face and points at Tessa.

T: Sorry! I didn’t mean it, I really didn’t mean it.

S: Oopsies…Tessa Virtue’s first miss step ever, take note of that.

(Laughter)

PJ: And we were here to see it, and its live.

S: And it’s live, can’t be taken back. I can see the hate mail from the lawn bowlers now.

(laughter)

PJ: She’s just kidding honestly, send me the mail I’ll take care of it. What has been your funniest memory over your 18 year partnership?

S: Oh wow. You, we keep making funny memories. That’s what’s so great.

T: We had a car ride just last week where we laughed the entire time.

S: Yep. We had a dance party –

T: Dance party, yup.

S: And laughed – what is the funniest thing?

PHONE STARTS RINGING IN BACKGROUND

S: Oh! Who do you think that is?

PJ: That’s embarrassing.

(Tessa laughs)

S: At least its authentic.

PJ: Just pretend it’s a sound effect.

S: Do you want me to get it? I should get it.

T: It’s the lawn bowling association—(laughs)

S: Yeah, exactly! (laughs)

PJ: Scott, could you grab it, if you don’t mind? Cause if wont stop.

S: Yeah!

PJ: So Tessa, what is your funniest memory? Let’s see if Scott says “hello.”

T: Honestly that’s way too…--

S (off camera): Hello?

T: Oh, he’s answering now.

PJ: No one ever calls me!

S (off camera): She is not right now, could she call you back?

PJ: So what do you think of your funniest memory? And someone wants to now what that coffee is that you are holding.

T: Oh, americano.

(Scott mumbles stuff on the phone)

S: PEEJ!

PJ: So Scott, what happened?

S: Oh, they wanted to know if my wife was available. (Tessa dies laughing). “Is your wife Patricia available?” And no actually, she’s busy right now.

PJ: You heard it first here on CBC sports, we weren’t gonna be able to keep it secret forever.

(Then the audio cuts out of a few seconds, not sure what they say but when it comes back:)

PJ: Scott I’m going to make you feel the love too.

S: That’s okay, I love it when they are for her.

PJ: What is your favourite movie?

S: We watched it the other day.

T: The princess bride? I mean yeah, that’s just classic.

PJ: I know your favourite TV show cause we share it! Flight of the Conchords.

T: Flight of the Concords, yes.

S: What’s your favourite TV show now, though?

T: I just finished Broadchurch and that was so good, have you seen that? On BBC – check it out.

S: (mumbles something about Dowton Abbey)

T: Yeah, I can’t bring myself to watch the final episode. I haven’t finished the very end of Harry Potter either because that’s like, it’s never over, so I just don’t want it to end so I don’t know that I’ll watch the last Downton Abbey but I do love that one.

PJ: Makes me feel like I am saying goodbye to friends, make me sad.

S: I cry at the last episode of Friends all the time.

PJ: Who do you relate to, Scott on TV?

S: In television? No not really anybody. I actually thought Jim and Pam from the The Office were my friends for a while though. It’s kinda the same thing, they aren’t real people when it ended I thought they would be on the back deck one day hanging out with me. I get attached, that’s why I don’t watch too much.

PJ: When you retire, Scott please consider comedy. I find your commercial hilarious.

S: You know what?

T: I love that he’s become know from that commercial.

S: I don’t think I’m hilarious, but Tessa still laughs at my jokes and its been 18 years, so.

T: The question is why apparently.

PJ: Is there a new movie you haven’t seen yet that you would like to?

T: Anything that’s come out in the last several years, I can’t remember the last time—

PJ: I really wanna see My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2.

S: It kinda looked fun! Anything with a big family kinda brings ya right back.

(Small chat about Boston movies, and liking Boston, wanting to explore.)

PJ: Anything exciting coming up in the next few months?

S: Well, we have tour which is exciting, in April we do Japan, Switzerland on the way home, we get to visit our friend Lambiel.

(CUT OFF – Shot of PJ’s forehead and her apologizing for technical issues, then switch to vm.

S: What up! Are we on camera?

PJ: You are!

PJ: What is your favourite dance style.

T: Always lead with ballet, but now more contemporary.

PJ: Now you were in the national ballet, I saw pictures of you doing the Nutcracker, was that fun?

T: That was absolutely incredible, that had been a dream of mine, of course, growing up I wanted to take the stage with national ballet. I wasn’t expecting it to be in that capacity I was dressed up as a joker. It’s funny I messages Scott beforehand and I was like “I don’t do goofy – I’m not funny” and he would have been so good with it, but I was paired up with Ethan, a dancer, and we choreographed this whole little thing together it was so much fun and so thrilling.

PJ: Did you ever go up on pointe and can you still?

T: I haven’t tried. I did, yes, but I haven’t tried in many many years.

S: You should, I haven’t been on pointe.  

PJ: Who’s feet are stronger, skaters or ballet dancers?

S: Ballet dancers.

T: Ballet dancers, yeah. I think you lose a lot of the range when your foot is stuck in a boot. Skating trains the opposite muscles.

S: Dancers are tough too, like what is it 18 hours a day? Like obviously skating is crazy training but the dancer’s life, I don’t know how they do it. Just waiting all day, on call, its so demanding. I know that from all my dance experience.

PJ: Favourite dance style?

S: Me? Oh you know, I like switching it up, for me, as long as we keep it fresh I’m cool – like I can’t think of a style I don’t like. We are moving into a style—

Then the video cuts off completely.

[popliar]

namseok fic links

disclaimer - this is all a bit random, I bookmark so many things and sometimes I don't remember what I actually thought about them... But they are all readable and worth a click imo.

other posts: fic links | namseok links part 2

collide the spaces that divide - pardon  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Namjoon and Hoseok compete for Yoongi's affection - just like they do everything else." good. 16,100 words. College au.

Debrief - Quettaser  Hoseok/Namjoon. "He shifted, just enough to see the cluster of Gong and his cronies and Hoseok in the reflection of the window. Hoseok was laughing again, pawing with his drink-free hand at the closest associate. His hair was mussed, like he'd been running his hands through it. He still looked great, of course, but something was wrong. Oh no. Hoseok was drunk. (For the prompt: criminals/thieves + drunk kiss)" 1300 words.

raise me up again - nebulia  Hoseok/Namjoon. "[They have never talked about it. These are the most words either of them has ever said about it outside of sex. Namjoon has always put it in that place between them, the 2% awkward Hoseok mentioned that one time on Kkul FM. He knows silently fucking the only same-age friend in your idol group isn’t normal or anything, but he figured maybe it was just...what happened. They only did it when it could be done not talking, so hardly ever on tour. And Namjoon knows they should probably talk about it, but Hoseok is right that they’re only 98% close. Maybe the 2% is just weird sex.] Namjoon relies on Hoseok a lot, but he never feels like he gives anything back. (He's wrong.)" porn with feelings. 10,600 words.

prismatic - mahistrado  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Hoseok takes care of Namjoon. It was the kind of care that hurt sometimes, sure. A spoonful of castor oil kind of love; nasty going down, good from the inside out." just really, really great character work. 6400 words.

Kabe-don - Mother of Pearl (Jinjuui_eomeoni) Hoseok/Namjoon. "Hoseok nearly kissed Namjoon in front of an audience of 5000. Namjoon is the only one who didn't notice." tension escalator, the fic! 7000 words.

longer than I thought - dollyeo  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Hoseok keeps trying to convince Taehyung weddings are amazing, if only to ease the pain of forking over thousands of won as a cash gift for a co-worker that Taehyung insists doesn't need his hard-earned money. And it's fine. Weddings really are great. Except, of course, when you run into an ex in the process." 10,100 words.

not my business (i got you) - signifying_nothing  Hoseok/Namjoon. hoseok's life is ruled by the mantra, "not my business" but it's hard to ignore the business of your best friend when you're kind of in love with said best friend." trans namjoon. 3800 words.

have not saints lips - monbon   Hoseok/everyone. "as seokjin stepped up, lifting his shirt to point to a bruise jimin had (accidentally) inflicted on his abs, jimin and taehyung were still arguing. “you live together!” taehyung was retorting. “his bed is twenty centimeters from yours! you spoon basically every night!” “stop trying to deflect, tae, the line is sacred and you know it!” “oh man,” said yoongi, “i dunno who lied to you you, but nothing in this house has ever been or will ever be sacred. not since i walked in on you in the bathroom after those sketchy kebabs.”" hobi is gonna kiss EVERY BOY. 1200 words.

blue night - jesspava  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Namjoon might be six years into an illustrious career with the NHL, but he's pretty sure Jung Hoseok's in a whole different league: four time Prix champion, silver medalist at Sochi just shy of 20, darling of the ISU. None of these things explain why he's under Namjoon right now though, their faces so close he could just lean down and kiss." she handles the melodrama well. Really gripping and well told. 65,000 words.

i hear the whole world turning - pearl_o  Hoseok/Namjoon. "It's always been hot and it's always going to be hot. It's not true, Namjoon reminds himself, but it feels true." 2200 words.

must be like the genesis of rhythm - pearl_o   Hoseok/Namjoon. ""I'm more concerned about the fact that we've been married for nineteen hours now and we still haven't had sex." "Concerned, huh," Namjoon says. "I'm just saying it's not the sort of precedent we wanna set, you know?" Hoseok says. "You can't be too careful."" 2000 words.

if it's with you, i'm down - misspamela  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Hoseok laughed. “I’m not sure you would have drowned down there, but sure, thanks.” He pushed his sunglasses up to the top of his head and his bangs spilled out over his forehead. “You underestimate my capacity for overthinking things,” Namjoon said. “I could have died out there, analysis paralysis is the silent killer.”" Hoseok is a surfer and Namjoon is a scientist. 2200 words.

The Most Beautiful Canvas - idyllic_hummingbird  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Tattoo artist Namjoon often does coverups for hybrids' old ID tattoos, and finds himself quite taken by his latest client, Hoseok, full of charisma and ready to laugh in the face of a fight. " The older sighed, but then he gave a laugh, smiling genuinely as he shook his head. “You know, there’s not really an easy way to tell someone you’re an underground street fighter.” Namjoon laughed along, but his smile faded when Hoseok didn’t add anything. “Wait, are you serious?” "" Hoseok is really more of a shifter/werewolf than a hybrid.  23,700 words.

lyre lyre lyre - oliviacirce  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Namjoo regrets every life choice that has led her here, to the hard wooden floor of this dance studio, where she's lying on her back like a beached whale" hot and funny. 7000 words.

habitual rituals - 12091802  Hoseok/Namjoon. they hook up at a party and fall into a relationship. sweet! 6700 words.

Byte Me - strawberrie (empireant)  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Computer nerds shouldn't be allowed to have a dancer's body and the heart of an angel, but Jung Hoseok was an anomaly from the start." 8300 words.

Namjoon and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day - tullycat   Hoseok/Namjoon. "The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ Namjoon Gang aft agley (But it's okay, because Hoseok is having the best day ever.)" sweet and funny. 5000 words.

tadhana - pardon  Hoseok/Namjoon. "The site was in English, and Namjoon really should've checked it over before Hoseok booked the room, but there's nothing to be done about it now. They've got a ten day honeymoon package on a beautiful island, and they're going to make the most of it. Even if it means pretending they're newlyweds to win extra prizes from the resort." sweet and funny! 32,100 words.

take me higher - jonghyunslisterine  Hoseok/Namjoon. ""We should play a game." Namjoon blinks, swallowing harshly and bringing himself back to the moment. He tears his gaze away from Hoseok's legs and finds him staring back, eyes lidded and relaxed. "Huh?" "A game," Hoseok repeats, a grin stretching his cheeks. "Okay. I've got a PlayStation - " Hoseok waves him off. "Not that kind of game."" 1600 words.

until my body ache - bt21  Hoseok/Namjoon. "namjoon's afternoon is ruined (or enhanced) by hoseok's thighs in Those denim shorts" 2200 words.

the clearing - fitzgarbage  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Namjoon isn’t sure many people even know it’s there. After all, the path that leads to it is almost gone now, and the outline of the building is hard to discern, mostly covered in moss and hidden away. It’s not easy to see unless you’re meandering, walking slowly, braving paths that might lead to nothing, talking and breathing and in no hurry to be anywhere at all. That, at least, is how Namjoon and Hoseok first found it." really lovely quiet story of friends to lovers who grow apart and then together again over time. it's not easy for them in a way that feels very real. 18,200 words.

Shaken, Stirred - nivo  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Hoseok needs a partner, he knows he needs a partner. He just doesn’t need Kim Namjoon to be that partner." They go undercover together. 6100 words.

You Can Never Pretend to Love - idyllic_hummingbird  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Namjoon's sister is getting married, and he needs a date so his family won't bug him about how he's still single. Cue his best friend stepping up to the part, and as the weekend goes on, Namjoon starts seeing Hoseok in a different light. " “But still, nagging family or not, I don’t think I’d be complaining about a beach vacation.” “You want to go in my place?” Namjoon asked with a laugh, but then his smile faded. “Wait a second—Seok, come with me.” Hoseok nearly spat up his drink. “Sorry?” “Be my date to the wedding.” "" 9000 words.

word's on the street and it's on the news - pearl_o  Hoseok/Namjoon. "In which Hoseok is sexiled; Namjoon gets self-reflective after a few beers; kissing is fun; and Hoseok discovers he has a lot of catching up to do." 4400 words.

an uninhabited world - misspamela  Hoseok/Namjoon. "“I don’t understand why you’re overthinking this,” Yoongi said. “Is it because of the Hoseok thing?” They were in the studio, too tired to work anymore, instead veering off into exhausted, caffeine-fueled conversations that got way too deep way too fast. “Wait, what Hoseok thing, that was years ago.” Namjoon felt his ears go red. “Was it,” Yoongi said." secret virgins. it's really cute. 10,400 words.

escape to the great sunshine - avtor  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Hoseok doesn't plan on confessing the first evening after three shots of tequila, but it happens anyway." sweet soft bon voyage-y beach holiday confessions. 5000 words.

Learning Love - potterndresden  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Namjoon’s eyes squinted like he was in pain, and then he covered his face as he giggled. Namjoon, full grown college student, actually giggled. “Aw,” Hoseok said, definitely not cooing at Namjoon. “Isn’t Mickey the cutest? He has that effect on everyone. People just love him.” He shoved his face into the dogs soft fur, hugging him close. He peeked over Mickey’s back, meeting Namjoon’s gaze. The other man was staring at him, no longer laughing. Instead, he had an odd, crooked little smile on his face as he gazed, not at Mickey, but at Hoseok. “I can think of something even cuter.” It was a little cryptic, but Hoseok knew exactly what he meant." cute long-distance. 18,900 words.

Arrhythmic - CynoDemure  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Hoseok's not looking for love, but his good friend Jimin certainly has other plans for him. Unfortunately for Jimin, love might be a little closer than either he or Hoseok thought it could be. Or; Sometimes what you need was right in front of you all along." Namjoon is the dog sitter. Hobi likes to sew plushies. 8800 words.

ionic bonding - moonsuns  Hoseok/Namjoon. "ionic bond [(eye- on -ik)] A chemical bond in which one atom gives up an electron to another, thereby generating an electrical force that holds the atoms together." they aren't friends in high school. namjoon leaves due to a severe depressive episode and they meet again at uni. I really liked it. 15,100 words.

Now Streaming - bambambams (phanjessmagoria)   Namjoon/Hoseok. "It's like a scene out of a goddamn romcom, except there's nothing funny or romantic about it: Namjoon accidentally switches his luggage with an honest-to-god camboy, and then unwittingly becomes one himself." pwp. 12,100 words.

stay, stay, stay - dollyeo  Hoseok/Namjoon. ""I watched a porno like this once, you know," says Namjoon, solemnly. "It was very educational." "You do realize that the minute you compare anything to an adult video, it loses any and all credibility, don't you?" "Sharing body heat is an effective means of combating hypothermia," says Namjoon, opening his arms with a filthy grin. "Come back to bed, babe." It's a snow day, which is always a great excuse to stay. At least, that's what Namjoon says." very nice. 2200 words.

waves of running feelings - moonsuns Namjoon/Hoseok. "Plot twist: it turns out Namjoon doesn't have any problem with Hoseok kissing guys if it's Namjoon he's kissing." 14,400 words.

Not Just You; I Need This Too - eightninetwo   Namjoon/Hoseok. "Hoseok wishes Namjoon can see just how beautiful he is despite his flaws." 8600 words.

elevator pitch - sundaytimes  Hoseok/Namjoon, Yoongi/Jungkook. "Hoseok is a really good secretary, and it's making Namjoon's life very hard." cute! 2100 words.

is that a lob, because i'm about to smash you - jonghyun  Hoseok/Namjoon. "“You don’t know tennis,” Taehyung finally repeats slowly, staring at Hoseok. “But you do know tennis.” “Not to him,” Hoseok clarifies. “I’m someone who just... plays for fun, and isn’t good at it. Needs tutoring.” He can see all the gears in Taehyung’s head moving, piecing each part of Hoseok’s plan together, until the light bulb finally goes off. “You’re getting him to tutor you. You’re getting... He’s tutoring you in tennis. An Olympian?” Taehyung’s facade finally cracks. “You’re... You have a tennis tutor!” He cries out, slapping his knee in delight. “You’re flirting! By pretending to be bad at tennis! You!”" some tennis errors but cute. 22,500 words.

Good For Business - moonsuns  Namjoon/Hoseok. "Namjoon has always said that Hoseok is good for business." florist namjoon needs a date to jimin and Tae's wedding. 12,500 words.

Wonder. - syubology  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Tipsy boys try to find their hotel room while Hoseok spouts an endless stream of terrible pick-up lines and Namjoon looks great in a suit. (Of course he does.)" 9700 words.

i only have eyes for you - ienveeus   Namjoon/Hoseok. "‘What would you do without me?’ Hoseok asks, smiling big and bright and Namjoon really shouldn’t stare too long. ‘I’d rather not think about it,’ Namjoon says and Hoseok doesn’t notice the way Namjoon looks at him, how his eyes soften and how he loses his words as he watches laughter curve Hoseok’s lips. Or, alternatively, the one in which Namjoon's dreams become reality, but it isn't as sweet as he thought it would be." love potion and tattoos. 22,100 words.

Good Job (with a G and a J) - taetaetiger (sexyvanillatiger)  Hoseok/Namjoon. Namjoon is Hoseok's tutor. praise kink. 14,600 words.

Confessions - aroo  Hoseok/Namjoon. "Hoseok gets a confession in the form of a love letter, and Namjoon teaches him how to practice kissing girls." 5100 words.

lit - deuxoiseaux  Namjoon/Hoseok. "The dangling silver adjustment chain on the choker sparkles in the morning sunlight, and Hoseok is struck dumb, reverent, watching Namjoon's fingertips on the delicate clasp." ""Not lonely, not really," Namjoon sighs, reaching out to rub his thumb over the exposed skin of Hoseok's hip where his shirt has ridden up a bit. "Not anymore. I'm glad you're here, Hoseok-ah." Hoseok peers at Namjoon through his fringe, the corners of his lips curved into a gentle smile that shows off his dimples." Slice of life. 2 stories, 4900 words.

why don't you figure (my heart) out - dollyeo  Hoseok/Namjoon. "It's not that Hoseok really needs to sleep with Namjoon, he really doesn't. It's just that it keeps happening all the damn time." They are housemates who are basically married and don't realise it. 14,000 words.

Glitch series - ienveeus Otherland/cyberpunk AU, they're rival hackers who flirt shamelessly.  ambitious AF and i admire it SO much. 82,000 words and 101,100 words in 2 stories.

and i’ll link my one (1) namseok:

The Monster Under Your Bed There's a monster under Hoseok's bed and Namjoon has no idea what he's meant to do about it. 6000 words.

[hzcleski]

hello friends! you probs know who i am already but if not hello! i’m sam aaand this is my newish muse! i played hal here for a minute one time but i’ve decided to give him a huuuuge revamp so character info is under the cut! lmk if you wanna plot! messaging me @ellvie​ is probably easiest!

╰☆╮ DYLAN O'BRIEN ─ HAL ZALESKI identifies as CIS MALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a FORMER OLYMPIAN/NHL PLAYER, and they’re only TWENTY THREE ! they’re said to be CAPABLE, but also TURBULENT. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE LEGACY in the tabloids.

quick disclaimer that this is a sideblog so i might post to the wrong account sometimes

other disclaimer a lot of my hockey information is from google ok

nathan harold zaleski jr was practically born with a pair of skates on, which makes sense considering his family is hockey royalty. his father is nathan harold zaleski sr, aka a legend and one of the biggest names in sports to this very day. olympic gold medalist several times over, beloved longtime defenseman for the toronto maple leafs, at the very peak of his career and married to a beautiful wealthy socialite when his only child was born.

listen...this is an au where the maple leafs are good or like, had one genuinely good star player in nathan sr. okay thanks for coming to my ted talk!

he’s got dual citizenship because he was born in canada even though he hasn’t lived there since he was ten, but his parents were us citizens, which doesn’t seem important but WAIT FOR IT

nathan jr, who would begin going by the nickname of hal early on in life, probably learned how to skate before he even learned how to walk because of course he did. his father’s intention was always to have another him. i mean for fuck’s sake they have the exact same name. hal’s purpose in life has never been in question, not by him or anyone who’s ever seen him play.

his natural talent for hockey became apparent from a very young age, which didn’t surprise anyone ofc. his father saw it as a sign and began pushing him even harder, hiring the very best trainers and coaches to help perfect his game while nathan sr focused on his own career.

except that he was running out of steam and fast. nothing happened like there was no huge scandal or career ending injury. nathan sr was just...getting old. fans were simply losing interest in him as newer and younger players joined the league and there was nothing he could really do about it except make sure his legacy lived on.

hal was ten years old when everything seemed to finally fall apart. his dad was hanging on to the very last threads of his career, let go from the maple leafs and almost certainly picked up by the new york rangers purely out of pity. meanwhile, hal’s parents finally divorced which he took almost alarmingly well for a ten year old, but it’s not like his parents were ever a shining example of a deep, loving marriage. they spent years settling the divorce, fighting back and forth while suing the shit out of each other across whole fuckin countries. lowkey they almost wound up being more famous for the legal drama than they were for hockey.

hal’s dad finally retired when he was twelve, won sole custody of him when he was fourteen, and pulled enough strings to get him a spot on the canadian hockey team dual citizenship! going to the 2010 vancouver winter olympics when he was just a teenager, making him one of the youngest players to ever compete in the games.

and canada won gold that year so hal was making history again in no time, being one of the youngest players to ever become a gold medalist in the winter olympics. now he didn’t actually see a lot of playing time that year. his skill was undeniable, but no one seemed to think that he was ready for the big time rush. tbh they probably weren’t wrong, but nevertheless his name and his win made an impression on everyone.

up until that point hal was homeschooled bc ofc education came second to hockey, but he always wanted to attend an actual school and he did! after his first olympics his dad finally sent him to the same private school in the city as all the other rich kids and it was...weird! he started in the middle of the year and was instantly an outsider among his classmates. everyone else had known each other all their lives so hal immediately at a disadvantage. it didn’t help that he’d never really...had a single friend before. tbh his peers were probably intimidated by him. he was just a high schooler and already an olympic gold medalist like...ofc no one wanted to be the person to go approach him and say hi.

played for canada again dual citizenship! at the 2014 winter olympics in sochi when he was eighteen and this time HE WAS THE STAR. absolutely at the top of his game. anyone who still thought that he was a joke before the games started shut up real quick when he won his second gold medal.

he got home and was eventually drafted into the nhl, so he sorta ditched school oops. technically he finished but like...barely since he went back to being tutored for the last few months.

several teams wanted him and tried to throw a shit ton of money at him, but hal settled on the new york rangers with a huge multi million dollar deal

he quickly stole hearts on and off the ice. whether fans admired his skill or followed him during the olympics or remembered his father, for one reason or another he was winning people over left and right. unsurprisingly he’d go on to win the 2014-2015 rookie of the year award, presented to him by the president of the nhl and everything.

he did not attend the 2018 winter olympics in pyeongchang as the nhl famously refused to release their players. hal himself was a major part of the uproar. the whole country of canada dual citizenship! practically threw a fucking fit bc the nhl was disqualifying their star player from winning them their third gold medal in a row and hey big surprise...canada didn’t win gold in 2018 :)

hal’s in the middle of his fifth i think? year of pro hockey rn and so far his career has been solid. his dad is really pushing him to sign with a “better team” and he has gotten offers, but he isn’t really interested. he likes playing for new york & he likes living in new york. maybe someday....maybeeee....but for right now he’s happy with where he is.

okay now for some fast facts!

literally always looks like he just got into a fight, probably bc he just did during his last game. is usually sporting some injury like a black eye or split lip or cut cheek. fortunately hasn’t completely given in to the hockey player stereotype by getting all of his fuckin teeth knocked out...yet

notice that i hardly mentioned his mom? that about sums up their relationship tbh. hal was practically raised by nannies and trainers. his mom always had some brunch or gala or public appearance she was far more invested in. literally she didn’t even really...want custody of him when she divorced his dad, but she claimed to just to be petty and give nathan sr an even more difficult time. yeah they kinda hate each other now and since hal has always been closer to his dad, his mom isn’t even really that interested in seeing him lmao. she’ll call like once a month and invites him to brunch if she happens to be in the city, but ngl hal probably hasn’t seen her in like...a couple years at the least. he’s not really broken up about it either.

right so...walking talking endless pit of daddy issues? you bet! just because hal prefers his dad doesn’t mean that they get along or that his dad is a good person. he still has his perfect public image and he isn’t complete garbage but...yeah their relationship is extremely toxic. he’s always been very harsh with hal, pushing him and pushing him to be the best bc nothing he accomplishes is ever good enough.

so what if he's won two olympic gold medals? so what if he was rookie of the year? so what if he’s considered one of the best and most beloved players in the nhl? he can do more, he can be even better. his dad is a constant voice in his head even though he’s always around anyway. he never misses a game or an opportunity to point out hal’s every flaw.

ofc as a result hal’s always been very hard on himself. every single day of his entire life has been spent basing his self worth off what his father thinks of him. it was awful for his self esteem bc no fucking duh.

HOWEVER. it isn’t public knowledge at this time, but as of right now? hal’s relationship with his father is falling apart faster and faster by the moment. they’re a ticking time bomb & it’s literally only a matter of time before they explode yikes!

fortunately hal could sorta sense the direction things were heading and did something about it. he finally moved out when the hockey season started back in october and he’s been feeling better ever since. like he has more control over his life even though his dad is still WAY too involved.

personality: a douchebag who means no harm, mostly because he's never really trying to be a jerk. tends to come across as a typical meathead jock for good reason bc that’s exactly who he is. in conversation he's usually very blunt and a little awkward bc he’s still learning how to socialize with others. hockey is basically his whole life so it’s all he knows how to talk about, which can either be endearing or annoying. a genius hockey player, but a ditz in every other area. very short - tempered and impulsive. always means well and wants the best for those he cares about, but might go about expressing those feelings in a weird way bc he was never taught how to properly deal with his emotions.

CONNECTIONS

family

step sibling he grew up with - sabrina miller

paternal cousins - warren daily and wren daily

cousin by marriage - rosalind cox

maternal cousin - open. his mom is polish for reference!

romantic

girlfriend - genesis iver

ex fiancée - ginny baker

ex on good terms - margo massey

ex who cheated on him - isla thompson

former fwb - amethyst armenta, open to more.

former toxic on / off relationship - reese monroe

exes, open to more.

hal has a ton of other exes and i don’t feel like listing them tbh all so i’m just gonna assume that y’all know who you are ok

platonic

best friend 5ever - marialena goldstein

confidant - open.

family friends - sullivan ramsey, open to more.

childhood friends - open to more.

close friends - open to more.

friends - mia kauri, chance kauri, theo cannon, angel almeida, open to more.

bickering friends - open to more.

workout buddy - open.

negative

on bad terms - kennedy drakos, jay weston, open to more.

these are just a few plot ideas! i’m most definitely open to other stuff so if you have any ideas please free to share! i think that’s enough from me soooo yeah! mssg me if you wanna plot & as always i’m super excited to write with everyone!

[justrae2010]

3 Victuuri Fics I Read ...[and that you should too]

The Bronze by  porkcutletbowltrash, @porkcutletbowltrash, Teen, 16,785 words

Yuuri Katsuki placed third and took home a bronze medal in his first Grand Prix final. It had been an amazing performance and an amazing feeling. The only problem was that he couldn’t really remember what happened on the ice thanks to some really strong cough medicine. Now, skating with Viktor alone on the rink, he lets down his walls. An AU where Yuuri didn’t suck in his first GP. By request of Shiranai Atsune.

Rae: The ultimate sickfic!! Such a cute au and it’s so nice to see Yuuri get the medals he deserved. Even if he was high on cough syrup <3

I Write Sins, Not Tragedies  by  cuttlemefish, @cuttlemefishwrites, Explicit, 53,628 words

Things would be a little easier if Yuuri wasn’t so in love with his husband Viktor, especially considering they have an arranged marriage. Two years after their wedding, Yuuri and Viktor are incredibly in love, but can’t seem to get over the hump of their platonic union to consummate their marriage! Good thing Yuuri is the most (in)famous erotic fanfiction author of the Love in the Streets fandom. Now, he’s got the support of the Internet to figure out how to seduce his husband, if only he can continue to keep their identities a secret. Or, the AU in which everyone thinks Yuuri and Viktor have the perfect marriage full of adventurous sex when, in fact, Viktor sleeps in the guest bedroom and Yuuri writes erotic fanfiction to quench his thirst.

Rae: This was surprisingly fluffy for a fic about Victor and Yuuri wanting to get some and frankly, I loved every second. It had smut, it has fluff, it has glorious Victuuri miscommunication... and BABIES!!! It’s adorable! <3

empty spaces between stars by  astudyinrose, @victuuriplease, Explicit, 198,623 words

Victor gets just as drunk as Yuuri at the Sochi Banquet, and they disappear together after the dance-offs. They wake up the morning after with rings on their fingers, and pictures of them kissing after getting married the night before are all over the tabloids... but neither of them remembers a thing. They decide to stay married for a while for the sake of Victor's sponsorships, and in exchange, Victor coaches Yuuri through nationals...

Rae: Okay, so some fics are good. Some fics are great. And some fics are just fucking ART!! This is one of them. Perfection in literary form. MUST READ! I can’t believe it took me so long... and there’s still more to come!! I can’t wait!

So there we go - my top 3 fics that I read this week!

Any fics you want to recommend or if you are a writer and want me to include your work in one of these recs, link me, message me - whatever you like, and I will get on it for you! I always need more stuff to read!!

Please go show the writers some love ♥ They deserve all the kudos and comments!

[zombubble]

@themis-76

On the one hand, Yuuri knows full well that he’s drunk.

On the other, Yuuri’s good at lying when he’s drunk, which is what he’s going to do for the entirety of this godforsaken party if he’s asked any sort of personal question. He saunters across the room-- which in reality is more him just swaggering as best he can as he tries to keep his balance-- and grabs another beer, cracking the can and draining half of it.

Honestly, fuck school. Fuck final exams, fuck tests in general, fuck everything. It’s not Yuuri’s fault he couldn’t stay focused. No, he’d studied the material, he’d done his homework and made flash cards and set reminders and the whole shebang, but he hadn’t accounted for real life. He hadn’t accounted for his aging dog, and now his GPA is paying the price.

The rest of the beer is drained and Yuuri grabs another, chugging that one too. Normally he comes to these sorts of parties to get out of the house and talk to people who aren’t his figure skating competitors, the press, or his roommate but fuck that. Today, he’s here for the free booze and the surprisingly good homemade french fries, and that’s it. No friends, no titillating conversation, no one-night stands in an upstairs bedroom. No anything.

Setting down the empty can he grabs a third and tries to forget that if he counts previous drinks it’s somewhere near his tenth, draining half of it  before pouring the rest into a red solo cup. He grabs yet another beer and pours that one in too, and combined with the rest it almost fills the flimsy plastic cup to the brim. Taking a sip, he turns back to the party. People are dancing in the living room, clustered near the mediocre sound system. In the kitchen, someone’s doing a keg stand and that’s really not something Yuuri needs to get involved with. Not today, at least.

When Phichit beckons, though, he’s sorely tempted.

Very sorely tempted.

Throwing caution to the wind, Yuuri walks over and hands his plastic cup off to a hockey player he’s talked to a few times at parties like this before grabbing the handles and letting himself be lifted vertically. One person makes a comment about the muscle he has on him, another mentions that he’s Japan’s top figure skater, but the only person that matters is the third, who’s putting the tap in Yuuri’s mouth and getting things going.

Staggering away from the keg, Yuuri takes his cup and lets out a burp behind one hand, before wandering through the living room. He has no desire to dance, his ballet training useless for... whatever it is everyone is doing, so he walks through the crowd and out the sliding glass doors into the back yard. The crisp winter air hits him in a rush, and while he’s too drunk for it to sober him up entirely, it adds some clarity to the fuzz in his mind.

Not much, though, and he grabs a can of beer from the cooler before walking over to the pool and taking off his shoes and socks. Rolling up his pant legs, he puts his feet in the heated water, sighing happily. It’s not as good as the onsen back home, and homesickness tears through him and brings tears to his eyes as he chokes back a sob. He misses his family. He misses his dog. He hates that he fucked up at Sochi and he hates that he fucked up his exam and he hates America and being here and as he’s scrubbing at his face, he hears soft footsteps approaching.

“Everything okay?”

Dread coalesces in his stomach. The softness of the voice, the Russian accent... he can recognize his Russian TA’s voice anywhere given the amount of time he’s spent listening to the man speak and the last thing he wants is for the person who’d graded his failure of a midterm to see him drunk and crying at a frat party.

“No, everything fucking sucks right now,” he mutters. His eyes widen and his heart starts racing. He’s more drunk than he’d realized if he’s at the point of brutal honesty, and he takes a sip of his beer, staring intently at the water in front of him. There’s the sound of shuffling, and Viktor sits next to him with his jeans rolled up as well, dipping his feet in the warmth of the pool.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Viktor asks.

“No,” Yuuri mutters. 

Viktor sighs. “Fair enough. I just figured... Your exam wasn’t quite at the level I expected and I was worried.” There’s a hesitation in his voice that Yuuri can’t quite pick out, but he’s too drunk to care so he takes another sip from the red plastic cup.

“I’ll make it up somehow.” Sighing, Yuuri kicks his feet in the water. “Did the Professor ask you to check up on me?”

“No, I was concerned on my own.”

Yuuri would never have guessed Viktor was the type to be open like this. The man’s an expert at keeping people at arm’s length while still being friendly enough that a good two-thirds of the class called him a friend, but with circumstances being what they are Yuuri’s not going to fault him for some (unnecessary) concern for a student. 

“I’ll be fine after I drink myself stupid and manage to forget everything.” Wincing, Yuuri turns his face away, looks intently at the wooden fence surrounding the property. He’d only intended to say he was fine, but for some reason he’d felt the need to keep going, rubbing it in Viktor’s face just how badly he’s doing.

“I’m sure you will,” Viktor says, chuckling. “I... I watched the competition you said you were going to. The Grand Prix.”

“Oh, god, you saw that?” With one eyebrow raised, Yuuri looks at him. “Do you watch my competitions a lot?”

“Every one of them,” Viktor replies before looking away.

Is he a fan of some sort?

“How long have you been watching figure skating?” Yuuri asks.

“Since March of last year.”

That was about when Yuuri’d had to ask for his first assignment extension. Last semester hadn’t been as hard as this last one, but with Worlds Yuuri’d had to ask for an extension for an assignment. Explaining to his teacher and the TA that he was Japan’s top figure skater had taken a bit of convincing before he’d told them to google him, but once the professor had seen his skater profile on the Japanese Federation page he’d changed his tune and allowed him to turn in the assignment a week late.

It would stand to reason that Viktor had watched some of his routines but... why? And why is he being so obvious about only watching once he knew Yuuri skated? He frowns, looking back at Viktor and holy shit, Viktor’s beautiful. This isn’t anything Yuuri was unaware of, Viktor teaches enough that he’s had ample time to stare at him, but there’s just something about the openness of Viktor’s expression, the way his ocean-blue eyes flit back and forth as he looks at Yuuri that leaves Yuuri breathless. Clearing his throat, Viktor pops open a can of beer and takes a gulp.

“Whatever it was that happened,” he says, “if you need to talk...”

No. No. Yuuri’s not going to sit here and blather away about his dog and his skating and his grades. He’s going to tell Viktor he’s fine, convince him somehow that messing up in school and at the competition were some sort of coincidental fluke, and then he’s going to get drunk and make Phichit carry him back to their apartment.

“I’ll get over it,” he mutters.

“Get over what?”

Yuuri takes a deep breath. Get over his failures, get over the way he messed up, get over whatever quirk of his brain won’t let him just get past things. Viktor doesn’t need to know about any of this, so Yuuri steels himself and looks at his TA. “Get over the fact I never got a chance to say goodbye to my dog.”

No. What the fuck was he thinking, blurting his issues out like that?! He looks down at his beer, swaying gently.

“Your dog died?” Viktor asks. “I didn’t know you had a dog.”

“He lived with my parents, in Japan.” Yuuri mutters. “He got ill. Didn’t make it. I found out the day before I skated the free program.”

“No wonder. If you need to re-take the exam sometime I’m sure I could work something out with Nikolas.”

“Don’t bother, it won’t do any good.”

“I just don’t want--”

“Why is it you care?” Yuuri asks, on the verge of tears for some reason. “Why? You barely even know me!”

“I love you,” Viktor whispers before clapping his hands over his mouth. He mutters something in Russian, harsh and too fast for Yuuri to catch, before looking to the side. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-- I don’t know why I said that.”

Yuuri frowns. “Are you fucking with me?”

“What? No!”

“You have to know, somehow.”

Viktor looks at him. “Know what?”

Frustrated, Yuuri looks at his hands. “That I have... that I’m... that I feel the same,” he finishes. 

“Well, of course,” Viktor says.

“What?”

“After... do you not remember? The social we had, for Russian, when the whole Russian department got together to hang out...”

“In all honesty,” Yuuri says, “I was kind of drunk after the fifth round of toasts.”

“I know, but... we danced, and you asked me to come to the hot springs your parents have and you said I should watch you compete sometime,” Viktor whispers. Clearing his throat, he leans back and looks at the stars. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I made this about me, I just wanted to check in on you and see how you were doing.”

“You didn’t make it about you, you just answered--” Eyes wide, Yuuri looks at him. “You just answered my questions honestly,” he whispers.

Viktor frowns before his eyes widen and he meets Yuuri’s. “Lie to me,” he says. “Where was your last competition?”

As hard as he tries, Yuuri can’t tell anything but the truth. “Sochi, Russia,” he whispers. “What’s your dog’s name?”

After some straining, Viktor blurts, “Makkachin.”

The implications of what they’ve just discovered weigh heavily on Yuuri’s shoulders while somehow being uplifting. Everyone knows, from the time they’re young, that you can’t lie to your soulmate. With some cleverness, you can weave the truth in such a way that it gives the impression of a lie, but as far as blatant statements like these...

There’s no doubt in either of their minds that this is meant to be, that the honesty with which they’ve bared themselves is that which indicates a deeper bond. It’s not always people find their soulmates. It’s not even that common, but somehow Yuuri’s found his and it’s the Russian TA he’s been crushing on for going on a year now. Blushing, Viktor looks down before turning to Yuuri. 

“Well, then.”

“Well, then.” Draining the last of his beer, Yuuri looks at the empty cup. Honestly, he doesn’t know what to do at this point. Asking for a date seems too... much, but at the same time they both care about the other and both want this so he could probably get away with it, but then there’s ethics and he really doesn’t know how that would play out. Luckily, Viktor leans closer.

“I could help you study for the final,” he says softly. “We could go over the test, discuss what you messed up on, and I could help you study.”

“I don’t need an unfair advantage.”

“It wouldn’t be,” Viktor murmurs. “I’d be using the study guide Nikolas made, I wouldn’t give you the answers. I don’t even know what he’s putting on the test, yet, and I wouldn’t cover with you stuff that I wouldn’t cover with others.”

Yuuri looks at him. “You’re sure?”

Viktor nods. “We could... meet at a cafe. Have food. Study. You know. Stuff.”

“Stuff.”

Viktor nods again. “Stuff. Help take your mind off things.”

It sounds nice. It’s the human connection Yuuri’s been craving without the risk of a hangover the next morning (and he can already feel the edges of a headache) and he’ll be able to feel like he’s at least doing something to keep his life from unraveling at the seams.

“I’d like that,” he says softly.

Looking at him, Viktor smiles. “So would I.”